Nip after nip, beer after beer, excuse after excuse. That's what I've been dealing with on a daily basis since I was in second grade. My alcoholic uncle. It's terrifying. Actually, it's more than terrifying, it's hurtful. It's hurtful to me the most because he is like a father to me.
Day after day and night after night, I've watched my uncle drown himself in alcohol. When he first awakens each morning, he actually has a normal tone of voice, where he actually can talk without slurring or pausing to think or wanting to sit. Being able to talk to him 'normally' is something I look forward to every day, but that does not always happen. Some mornings my uncle is so sick from drinking the day before that I witness him falling down the stairs, throwing up in the kitchen because he could not make it to the toilet, soiled pants because he did not wake up in the night to use the bathroom, and more slurring.
It's heartbreaking, really. Watching the one you love literally die day by day, ever so slowly, right in front of your face. This is what I live with: an alcoholic. The worst drug to ever be legalized, alcohol, only to keep up the economy and "good times." Well, let me tell you, this is no "good time", it's a horrible time, it's a horrible disease.
Yes, some people can have a "good time" and enjoy drinking responsibly, but alcoholics DO NOT know what that means. They do not care what that means. They do not care about anything except when the next time they get to buy liquor is, when the next time they get to take a sip is, and when the next time they get to leave reality is.
Over the years, I've watched my uncle go in and out of hospitals, nursing homes, intervention programs, and rehab centers. I've noticed that his brain has deteriorated through the years, to the point where it's like he has mild, and at some points, severe dementia. Brain rot. Completely disoriented about the world that he lives in. And I hate it. I want to help him, but he does not believe that he has a problem. All alcoholics believe that they are perfectly normal and that nothing is wrong with their alcohol use.
I've watched the pain that all of this alcohol has done to my uncle. Weekly draining's of his stomach because his kidneys no longer work, medications that I will never be able to pronounce, and surgery's that have tried to save his life if only he stopped drinking completely. His doctors have told him multiple times that if he stops drinking now, he could survive, but no matter how long he stays in hospitals, nursing homes, or rehab centers, the second he gets home he's back to drinking. I love my uncle so much and I wish he knew how badly he is hurting himself and the ones who love him most.
Just the other day, my uncle was so drunk that he was passed out in his room with a lit cigarette in his hand. If we had not found him, the whole house could have caught on fire. When my family confronted him, all hell broke loose. Every time my family and I have to confront him about his problem, all hell breaks loose. It's like World War III. Where the screaming is so loud that neighbors have called the cops on us. So loud that we've gotten phone calls from the next street over asking if everything is okay. So loud that it's honestly unbearable to be in the house. And it continues to break my heart watching this alcoholic uncle of mine slowly die in front of me every day. This is alcoholism. And it sucks.
Seeing your family member leave your house in search of another place to stay because he can not fathom the thought that he actually has a problem, is sickening. Finding him a day later at a local motel passed out halfway on the bed and halfway on the floor is even more sickening. It's heartbreaking. That's my uncle. Living day by day just as any other alcoholic does. This is what is it like. Imagine that. That's my uncle. The one who I have always looked up to as another father. That's my uncle. The alcoholic that I love. Alcoholism. Its death waiting to happen. And don't think for one second that my family and I haven't tried everything in God's will to help him because we have.
Its true, alcoholics hurt their loved ones more than they hurt themselves. It's a disease and it's terrible. It's heartbreaking. Help the ones you love and hold them close no matter how sick they are.
