“But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful…” -Alessia Cara
From Television to magazines to our own Instagram feeds our eyes are continually subjected to society’s preconceived notion of how person should look, act and be.
I am sharing my story to show women that struggle with this are not alone.
I have been controlled by this nasty troll for years. It sits in the back of my brain and pokes fun at my stomach for not being rock hard. It comments on my thighs for smushing out when I sit down. “Should you really be eating that?” she says in disgust. She comments on my broad shoulders, my stretch marks, my butt size, and the list goes on. This troll is controlled by me. I compare myself to strangers, to family members and even to my friends. I find myself focusing too much on them and not enough on me. I have decided that it is time to fight for me. I have to pick me. I have to choose me. I have to love me. (For those who love Grey’s Anatomy, you are welcome!)
This journey is self-acceptance and a journey begins with one step, then two, then three.
1) You accept yourself, as you come, unconditionally, at this moment in time. You don’t worry about yesterday, tomorrow, three weeks form now or 20 years from now. Today is the only one that matters.
One of my favorite quotes is:
“Don’t feel bad if you still wish your body looked different or if your voice sounded better or if you can’t quite love yourself yet. Self Acceptance is a journey. You’re not hopeless just because others may be ahead of you. Appreciate yourself. Appreciate how far you’ve come. You’re on your way, at your own pace.” -Unknown
Self acceptance does not happen over night. We are all works in progress.
2) Compliment yourself instead of criticizing yourself. Your thighs are not fat, they are POWERFUL. Your shoulders are not too broad, they are STRONG. You are not stupid, you are INTELLIGENT. You are not too sensitive, you are COMPASSIONATE.
Catch yourself when you are being negative and turn it into a positive.
3) Celebrate YOU. We are constantly told that to talk about one’s self is wrong. It is narcissistic. You lack the ability to be humble. Celebrating your accomplishments, your body, your personality and yourself in general, is perfectly acceptable. You are allowed to be proud of yourself. Give yourself credit where credit is due!
These three things alone can completely shift your thought process. I have noticed a drastic difference in the way I talk, the way I walk and the way I carry myself. I am more confident. I am kind to myself. I am genuinely learning to love me.
I am tired of being personally victimized by…me. Remember that your scars give you a story, and that is true beauty.
