One thing about North 4th Street is that it is always poppin'. There have been some crazy incidents that have happened. One morning the whole SWAT team busted into my neighbors house and arrested him. Then there was the occasion where someone walking down my street started getting chased by the police and tossed a gun somewhere in my yard. Not to forget, there have been 3 different houses that have caught on fire somehow. After the latest incident of the police being called on two of my neighbors for fighting, I have decided to categorize the different types of neighbors on my street.


The Snitches
The Snitches are the neighbors who call the police for every little incident that happens on the street. They tend to call the police for a dog barking, two people arguing, or to complain about the way people park. The snitches are the most annoying neighbor on the street.

The Penny Stretchers
The Penny Stretchers are the neighbors who constantly are having a yard sale. Every morning the Penny Stretchers haul all of the junk they have been hoarding for 14 years out of their basement and garage and spread it out in the yard. Day in and day out, you know you can walk down 5 houses and purchase a pan from 1975 for $20.

The Party Throwers
The Party Throwers are the neighbors who always are having some type of get together. Whether it be starting a fire in an old trashcan, drinking cheap beer, or jamming out to the latest reggae music. You can always count on the Party Throwers to have a good time.

The Hoarders
The Hoarders are not to be confused with the Penny Stretchers. The Hoarders are neighbors that have a million lawn ornaments and are frequently spotted at the nearest junk yard. You never see anything in the Hoarder’s trash can because they keep just about everything.

The Screamers
The Screamers can sometime also be the Party Throwers. The Screamers and the Snitches do not get along. Refer back to the Snitches if you can’t figure out why. The Screamers are the neighbors who always are fighting. Whether it be arguing over who should have water the flowers or screaming at one another while walking home from the local pub.

The Hermits
The Hermits are the neighbors who you rarely see. They stay in their house and only leave to go to the store. The Hermits are the neighbors you and your family make up stories about.

The Chasers

The Chasers are the neighbors who are always chasing after their dog. You will frequently see the Chasers running through your back yard barefooted and shirtless hollering for their dog to come back. My family can often be categorized as the Chasers because our damn dogs are always running off.

The Over Protectors
The Over Protectors are the neighbors with all the security features. The Over Protectors are also the neighbors that have spot lights on every one of their plants in their front yard. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Over Protectors had video cameras and watch your each and every move.

The Sports Fanatics
The Sports Fanatics are the neighbors that have their house decked out in sports gear. When sports seasons change, so does the décor. Usually the Sports Fanatics are hanging a gaudy Cubs Flag off of their porch from opening day until the end of the season.