The Ohio State University is a very large college; it has 59,482 students in Columbus and 1,765 acres of land that make up its main campus. Despite all of this space, Ohio State faces one major problem that all of the engineers combined seem unable to correct: everyone literally walks at each other. There is no rhyme or reason to it. People just swerve everywhere on the sidewalk, so I am here to lay some ground rules for walking.
1. Stay as far to the right as possible.
Pedestrians at Ohio State have a tendency to walk all over the sidewalk, severely inhibiting the ability for people to efficiently travel. If you always stay to the right, everyone gets where they're going without having to "swim upstream." Also, less people will hate you.
2. No texting and walking.
Texting and/or fiddling around on your phone takes your attention away from the sidewalk, therefore slowing you down and making you swerve all over. At Ohio State, foot traffic is more prominent that vehicle traffic, and I KNOW you people wouldn't text and drive. Don't put your fellow students in danger.
3. If you are in a group, do not walk more than two people wide.
Let's be honest: what logical purpose does walking in a wall of humans have? We all know that the people on the ends are automatically excluded from the conversation. New rule: you can walk with one friend next to you, but the rest start lining up behind you. Other people have to walk the other way, you know.
4. Stay with the flow of traffic.
Sometimes, you get stuck behind that person that is taking their sweet time, waving to the squirrels sniffing every flower. Everyone has somewhere to be, and often they don't have a lot of time to get there because our campus is huge. Please walk with intent, and keep your eyes on the sidewalk. The next step is imposing a speed limit.
5. No biking on the sidewalk.
This should make complete sense to both parties. Bikes can barely move on the sidewalk, so what's the point? You tip over more than you actually ride the bike. You'll light years faster in the street. Pedestrians don't want to get hit with your bike either. On any given day, at least three bikes try to run me over because they're swerving all over the sidewalk. Not anymore.
6. Stay in your lane.
This goes hand-in-hand with rule one. If everyone keeps to the right, no one will body check each other, and we can all avoid that awkward shuffle face-off that happens when two people run into each other. You don't need to be doing Script Ohio all over the sidewalk when we have places to be.
7. Be aware of the people around you.
Instead of existing in our own bubbles and getting to class walking however we please, we should pay attention to the people around us and adjust our walking habits. Instead of thinking, "Hey, this person is walking directly at me, Iet's play chicken," let's change our mindset to "Hey, this person is walking directly at me, I think I'll step six inches to the right and move on."
