I've lived in Washington since I was born, and honestly, the state has a lot of flaws. I'm getting real sick and tired of the "Evergreen State" and I'm about to lay down the truth about why Seattle and Washington suck so very much. Get over yourself, Seattle.
1. The nature.
Washington is constantly assaulting everyone’s eyes with its beauty. From the ocean to the many mountains, Washington just can’t contain itself. Seriously, nobody needs that much natural beauty in their life. I don’t want to see a 14,000-foot volcano looming over me while I shop in the city. Just stop, Seattle.
2. There’s too much coffee.
What is with the coffee, Washington? There’s a coffee shop on every block, taking up valuable real estate. It’s not like they’re serving delicious drinks or anything, just coffee. Don’t even get me started on Starbucks, creating jobs and being one of the top places to work for teens and young people. How dare they?
3. The weather.
Washington can never make up its freaking mind about the weather. I mean, most people think of Washington and think of rain, but we also experience disgustingly hot days, decent snowfalls in winter, and mild storms in fall. I mean really, just decide on a weather pattern and stick to it. Nobody likes experiencing all four seasons. (At least the rain keeps the Californians away.)
4. The greenery.
It’s called the Evergreen State for a reason. The rain just makes everything greener. Then the sun comes out and just intensifies all that green. Just move to Arizona, where everything is a nice shade of brown.
5. The sports.
The sports fans in Seattle are absolutely nuts. Seattle Seahawks fans are some of the loudest fans in the NFL, and the Seattle Sounders have one of the biggest followings in Major League Soccer. That level of dedication is just scary. C’mon, Seattleites, don’t you guys have hobbies?
6. All the activities.
Speaking of hobbies… Washington and its occasional sunny day lends itself to WAY too much variety in activities. Do you go to Pike’s Place, do you hike around the pristine mountains that surround Seattle, or do you ride out to the islands on the ferry? Kayaking, hiking, biking, swimming: Washington’s options are just too much, and I can never decide.
7. The caring people.
Seattle and its people care way too much about the issues -- global warming, people’s issues, government corruption. Seattleites stick their nose in everything. Seattleites are dedicated to making changes for the better, who the heck likes that! They are definitely not the kind of people I want to associate with.
In all honesty, Washington was a great place to grow up, and I love it very dearly. It does have its flaws (lack of a basketball team and the fact that Chris Pratt didn't stick around, just to name a few), but there's no place I'd rather call home.
