It has been weighing on my mind, recently, how distorted my vision of college was. Not only has my college experience been different than I imagined, but I continue to wonder why people told me things, or didn't tell me things, that everyone seems to encounter. It is not until I bring those misconceptions up, directly, that my friends share similar experiences. Obviously, there are a lot of truths about college that no one likes to talk about; who really wants to talk about the sometimes sad, negative aspects of college? However, I'd like to change that and tell you how things really are -- the good, the bad, and the ugly all included.
1. Making friends is hard, but you’ll have a group of friends within the first month.
In retrospect, a month seems like a long time, but trust me, you most likely will not meet your to-be-best-friends in that first month of college. If you do, kudos to you and please share your secrets with me because I am almost a semester and a half in and still do not have a squad. Getting to know people takes time and patience. It’s a frustrating process and unfortunately it still applies in college.
2. The friends you make first semester will become your friends for the next four years.
Just when you thought you were settled in you will come back second semester and be just as nervous, anxious, or overwhelmed as you were in the beginning. There is no guarantee that you will continue to be friends with the people you meet first semester. I'm going to be straight with you; it's hard. Really hard. You come back from winter break and you realize that you have completely different classes with completely different people in them and you feel distant from those you were close with first semester. This is completely normal. I repeat, this is normal.
3. You will be homesick for a few days, but eventually, it’ll wear off.
This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions out there. You are going to miss your family a lot more than you think you will. It's going to feel extremely weird to not be around them, especially since you've lived with them for almost two decades. During my first semester, I called my mom once or twice a week solely because I thought that any more than that wasn’t healthy -- boy was I wrong. Now it’s second semester and I call or text my mom at least once a day with no shame.
4. Skipping class is normal and done regularly.
Call me a nerd, but it’s not true. While you no longer have to make your mom or dad call the school to let them know you won’t be there if you’re sick, skipping class definitely has its repercussions. In college, since you most likely have class only two or three times each week, missing class is a big deal, and your professor will most likely not go out of his/her way to fill you in on what you missed. It will be your responsibility to make time to go meet with your professor outside of class and go over the lecture you missed. In the end, the couple extra hours of sleep you gained from skipping becomes several hours of extra work piled upon mounds and mounds of stress. Eek.
5. You and your roommate(s) will be friends.
A lot of people understand that two roommates might not be the best of friends, but there is a possibility you won’t get along with your roommate at all. Living with someone you barely know is difficult. I shared a room with my sister for several years when I was younger, but even that didn't prepare me for college dorm life. Even if you meet over Facebook months in advance, there is no way to guarantee you two (or three) will get along all of the time.
6. While you’ll be making new friends at your respective college, your high school friends will remain close.
Keeping in touch with your high school friends takes time and effort. While you are all essentially experiencing the same thing, it is hard to keep up with everyone’s day to day lives. You will go from seeing your friends at least 5 days a week to seeing them maybe every couple of months. With that said, you won’t all of a sudden lose all of your high school friends. The friendships meant to last, will.
7. Independence is freeing.
The amount of independence you acquire, in what seems like a matter of seconds as you watch your parents drive away on move-in day, is overwhelming and not as freeing as you think. It's scary. You decide when you eat, what you eat, where you go, how you dress, who you hang out with, when you do your work, if you do your work, when to exercise, etc. It will take time to get used to all of the changes, lots and lots of time. You might not feel comfortable within the first few weeks or even months, but you just have to stay committed and don’t fall to the negativity in your head.
At times, college can be frustrating and lonely. However, as hard as it can be at times, it is all worth it in the end. Or, at least, that is what people tell me.
