1. Have the same haircut as Hillary
2. Give Donald Trump nuclear weapons
3. Make out with Rosie O'Donell in front of my parents
4. Eat Ghost peppers for every meal
5. Pee and then realize there isn't any toilet paper
6. Gain 60 lbs only in my arms
7. Run on a treadmill wearing heels
8. Be allergic to water
9. Sleep in the sink
10. Get ready for my wedding in the dark
11. Have lunch with the workers at the DMV
12. Offend a democrat on Facebook
13. Get into a sober bar fight with Rhonda Rousey
14. Have my filter privileges taken away on Instagram
15. Have a man as faithful as Hillary's and take him back
16. Pay all of my tuition through pennies I find on the road
17. Wear jeans to bed every night
18. Have my legal name be Hannah Montana
19. Not have thumbs
20. Take a bath in hot sauce
21. Grind on Caitlyn Jenner
22. Count every hair on my head
23. Never drink coffee again
24. Changing nursing home diapers for a living
25. Clean Taco Bell's bathrooms
26. Have to drive a tractor everywhere I go
27. Share a twitter account with Donald Trump
28. Listen to Friday by Rebecca Black on repeat every time I try to sleep
29. Cuddle with Edward Scissor hands
30. Be Bill Cosby's lawyer
31. Walk to my classes barefoot on a never ending trail of legos
32. Wear wet socks for an entire week
33. Trust Hillary with my email passwords
34. Have to type this entire article with the tip of my nose
35. Go through the awkwardness of people singing me "happy birthday" over and over
36. Have braces as a college student
37. Teach little kids what lesbian means
38. Actually have to read to terms and conditions before agreeing
39. Eat sand
40. Get a tattoo on my cheek of a thumbs up
41. Have a permanent hang over
42. Have a math exam every Friday and Saturday
43. Ask someone I don't know if they are pregnant
44. Watch a guy flex his pecks back and forth while he's thinking its entertaining and attractive
45. Lick a popsicle found in the trash covered in hair
46. Play never have I ever with my grandparents
47. Give birth naturally to a giant baby
49. Being in a group message and having an Android
50. Never wear makeup again
51. Go a month without access to a shower
52. Have my flash go off while trying to take a secret picture of someone
53. Wake up beside Zach Galifianakis
54. Have cellulite all over my body
55. Have to pee standing up for the rest of my life
56. Let me dad chaperone frat parties for the rest of my college career
57. Look like the principle off of "Matilda"
58. Have my nails naturally grow green
59. Never get to brush my teeth again
60. Be voted "most likely to end up a single fat cat lady"
