I was in a relationship for almost three years in high school. I thought the guy that I was dating was the love of my life, but at some point, he stopped being the center of my world. It was after two years that high school became more intense with AP classes and extracurricular activities. I felt like my relationship was holding me back from being the best person that I could be. People enter relationships in every area of their lives. Relationships do not get any easier to balance in college. College is a new beast and with a new monster comes many new and arduous challenges. Those AP classes turn into three-hour labs and the midnight that you spent studying in your room turn into weekends in the library. Relationships are not easy, but if you choose to be in one the most important thing you can do in the relationship is love yourself.
1. You Are The Sun
You are significant in a relationship. Do not let his wants eclipse your needs. In a relationship, it is okay to take the time to pamper and love who you are inside and out. While in a relationship, you do not have to spend 24/7 with each other. Take time now and then to spend time with yourself and cherish how beautiful and brilliant you are as a human. This will give you an air of superiority and make you somewhat narcissistic, but it is better to be sure of yourself in a relationship than doubt yourself. Therefore, take time and go to the gym. Do not make a trip to satisfy his eyes, make the trip because you want to. Go wine and dine yourself. Get in tune with yourself, because you have to realize that you are the sun. His world revolves around you. Don't try to please him and everyone else, have people spend on your axes for once.
2. Do Not Hold Back
In medicine one of the worst things a doctor can do is leave a patient untreated. Doctors take an oath to treat every patient to the best of their abilities. When you enter a relationship, you take an oath as well. Your oath is not said aloud in front of hundreds of people for everyone to hear while wearing a white coat, but it is still important. Your oath is to be the best person you can be while in the relationship. For a functioning human body to work, all parts have to be in accordance with one another. If one body part gets out of sync, it can mess up the entire system. Therefore, in a relationship, if you get out of sync, it can mess up the entire system. You have to express your feelings. Men are not mind readers, and they might not understand the reason you are upset. They might not comprehend that you are about to become a puddle of feelings if they don't stop commenting about how dinner is not cooked. You have to express yourself. You have to tell your significant other what you are feeling and dealing with on a daily basis. Your words are important. Your words matter. Do not for one-second think that you could ever say too much, because the truth is you cannot say enough.
3. Your Mama Doesn't Like Him, and She Likes Everyone
My mom doesn't like anyone, but truth is what mother would. Your mom created you with 50% of her genes. She doesn’t want anyone to hurt you or anyone to steer you wrong. If she sees that a guy is not good for you, of course, she is going to offer her opinion. Don’t listen to it. Your mom wants what is best for you, but she doesn’t know you. You are your own person made up of an entirely new genetic material that will never be copied. Listen to your heart and listen to your brain. Mom’s do not always know what is best.
4. Love The Way You Look
The worst thing a person can have is self-doubt. The media has so many portrayals of what is beautiful, and it changes every year. Some years beautiful is blonde and skinny while other years prefer curvy and brunette women. The best thing you can do is prefer you! You are beautiful in your skin, but that does not mean that you feel comfortable in the skin you are in. You have the free will to get a breast reduction or breast implants because you feel like it. You have the free will to eat as much pasta as you want to fill your thighs or cut back on carbs to lower your stomach. Whatever you wish to do to your body, do it! What you want does not have to fill the desires of someone else.
5. Follow Your Dreams
Resentment is not sexy! Crushing your dreams to fulfill someone else's is not a happy life. You will always think about what could have been. Do not put yourself down or make excuses for not doing what you want to do. You only live once, so LIVE! The money will not always be there and neither will your health and time. No matter how stupid it may look to others, it will be beautiful to you. You are smart, you are kind, and you are important. You can become a Los Angeles Clippers Professional Dancer or a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Wake up and realize that dreams are not going to chase themselves, you have to run after them.
6. Sometimes It's Better Sleeping On Your Own
Nights do not always have to be spent with someone else. Learn that sometimes space is needed in a relationship; even if that means you cannot have nighttime cuddles. When I go to sleep at night, my mind runs fifty times faster than it does during the day. I think about what I could have done, should have done, and would have done. I replay all of the things in my head and preview the events for the next day. Sometimes you cannot have these little moments to yourself with someone nibbling your neck or reading with the lights on. It's okay to have moments where you close yourself up in a nice warm bed and recount the events of your day. It's okay to fall asleep by yourself. Also, when you are upset, it is okay to go into a separate room and make him realize how cozy it is to have someone beside them at night. At the end of the day, you were born into the world by yourself, and you will leave by yourself. When you leave, you will want to be happy.
I became happier once I was no longer in my relationship. Although it did take me almost six months to realize how happy I truly was; if I followed this advice, I do not think my relationship would have lasted. We were just too different, and we grew into two different people. The problem that I was having in my relationship was that I was making him the sun. I did not focus on myself. I wasted valuable time that I could have spent loving myself trying to make him love me as much as I felt like I needed to be loved. The truth is that he loved me more than I loved myself. I was not craving his love; I was craving my own. As a freshman in college, I have been out of a relationship for more than one year, and now I am looking to start one. I have found out things about myself that I would have never realized. I learn that l like to work out. Like I enjoy lifting weights. I love myself so much that I would not let anyone hurt me. I care about me more than anyone else, and that might be crazy, but I want to be in a relationship where they put themselves first at times.
When you take care of yourself, you know your limitations and your desires. Happiness takes the time it does not just appear. To be truly in love, you have to love yourself. The most successful relationships are when both individuals love themselves and not just each other. To be in a successful relationship you have to give yourself time to grow, to learn, and to prosper. Without these precious moments of "me" time, you risk losing something great and that could be someone who will love you till the end of time.
