1. They pee on your floor, or your bed.

There are two times when your dog pees when it shouldn’t have.

Sometimes they pee because they’re so PISSED at you they need to show you by PISSING. Most dogs resort to simply peeing on the floor when they’re mad at you. However, I used to have a dog that slept with me in my bed every night, but I had a friend from out of town over and so the dog decided to pee in my bed to establish that there wasn’t enough room for all three of us in the bed. My grandparents' dog was also known for pooping on the rugs (even though the majority of their house was hardwood) when she was mad at my grandma.

Or they’re so excited and happy to see you that they lose control of their bladder. Which is kinda flattering. But not really.


2. They chew up everything.

“There’s something wrong with my bed…I think it will be much comfier if I shred it to peices” - Dog

“Your shoe would look much more fashionable if you can’t wear it anymore” - Dog

“I’m going to remodel the house today” - Dog, right before he chews the door, pillows, floorboard, and everything in-between.


3. They take up the ENTIRE bed, couch, etc., no matter how big or little they are.

You don’t even see it coming. One moment you’re sleeping or sitting comfortably and then the next moment your dog is in your spot and theirs. They aren’t just happy with sleeping on the bed. They need to be on top of the bed and on top of the pillow that’s on the bed. One couch may be enough for three humans but one dog is max capacity.


4. They think all food is their food.

You make a delicious sandwich for yourself. You took time to put on the meat and the cheese, cut the lettuce and tomato and even add your favorite sauce. Your sandwich puts Subway to shame. You set it on the table and before you sit down, you realize you need a drink to wash it down. You turn around for approximately three seconds to grab a drink from the fridge. When you turn back around, I promise you that sandwich is long gone because your dog ate that sandwich in one gulp. Didn’t even chew it.


5. They bark constantly.

Your dog just really, really loves you and wants you to be safe at all times, but doesn’t understand that your friends, the mailman, and the air are actually not bad guys.

6. They have the WORST gas.

It’s probably because of No. 4, but their farts just seem to smell worse than any human, even a man. Which is really hard to do, but somehow dogs do it...

… but we love them anyway.