Are you a dog owner? Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your dog was human? Well as a dog owner of a 2 year old Chocolate Lab named Hershey I wonder this all the time. Though as much trouble as dogs get into what you may wonder is if they'd end up in jail. Funny enough this idea about this article aroused while I was on the phone with my mom and Hershey decided it would be a good idea to take a fork out of the dishwasher. Then as my mom continued to talk on the phone with me (which Hershey was not happy about) she decided that she would voice her opinion by yelling at my mom. During which my mom said, "You should write an article about Reasons why If my dog was human she's be in jail." And so I did.
1. She loves to lick, especially the lips.
Each individual dog has its own quirks whether they hide your things around the house, spin five times before sitting, or even refusing to walk across hardwood floors. Well my dog has the quirk of obsessive licking. In which she favors men and the lips. My family could all be sitting in the family room and here comes Hershey licking you or the couch as she passes, or decided as she is laying in your bed this is a good time to lick your sheets or better yet your feet!
2. She verbally harasses my mom.
Have you ever wondered what your dog was saying when they barked? Or watched dog videos of huskies that can talk? Well Hershey loves to talk especially when she wants a cookie or your not paying attention to her. My mom and sister have even taught her how to say I Love You, in which now she thinks If she is always speaking she will get something out of it.
3. She steals things out of people's bags.
As soon as my mom gets home from food shopping Hershey sticks her head in the bags looking for something my mom got her. And smart enough she always finds it. But sometimes she thinks it would be a good idea to go through my moms purse to see what she can find. Or go into my room and steal my socks.
4. She doesn't get along with the mailman.
All dog owners know when someone is near when their dog rushes to the window and starts barking. Especially when the mailman comes.
5. She hits people when they aren't paying attention to her.
One of the first tricks Hershey learned to do was the command "paw". Though she now has developed the need of holding people's hand especially when she is in trouble. If she wants to hold hands with you she will give you her paw but If your not paying attention, she might actually hit you in the face. (Which has happened to me several times)
6. She will destroy your property if she's angry with you.
Labs are known for getting into trouble when no one is paying attention to them. Hershey's list of items she likes to take and destroy involve flip flops and socks. Her favorite part is when you chase after her.
7. She doesn't understand personal space.
When it comes to sharing a bed with Hershey, there is no concept of personal space. She loves to be lined up with your body and to rest her head on you.
8. She goes to the bathroom in public.
Well this one is a given, all dogs go to the bathroom outside. But If we humans did this we would be charged for public urination.
9. She doesn't like to wear clothes.
Aren't dog in outfits so cute! But how many hours of getting your dog to sit still and stop taking them off do you have to go through to get one good picture?
10. When she sees new people she attacks them out of love.
Dogs get excited when people come over, because they think that these people are coming just to see them. For Hershey she loves to jump in which you are holding her and she is trying to molest you face with her tongue. (Which my family and friends know all to well!)
But we still love her anyway!
