6 Things Everyone Forgets While Planning A Wedding

6 Things Everyone Forgets While Planning A Wedding

These are just as important as the venue, food, and dress.
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Other than myself, there are so many girls that begin dreaming about their wedding day at an early age. I blame all the fairy tales and Disney princess movies for that phenomenon. The ones that usually end in some great love and a perfect wedding day that is magically put together in no time at all. The thing is, I don't remember ever seeing any movie that showed all the work that went into planning a wedding... Unless we're talking about the movie "Father of the Bride". Then you will end up looking a little like this when the day comes that you are planning your own and can see all the things that you have to do, and have no idea where to begin.

And while this milestone has a lot of planning, expenses, and little details that need to be paid attention to, there are somethings that every bride/groom should remember throughout the process.

1. Remember to sit down and dream.

Before you jump into all the planning, sit down with your fiance and just talk. Talk about what you want and what you picture that day being like. If you were one of those kids who dreamed about your big day, tell them about all the things that you believe that you want. Don't pin yourselves down so soon after the proposal with talk of money and just dream together.

2. Remember to bask in the glow.

In the middle of all the fuss, let yourself remember why you are going through all the events to follow. Make sure to see that, through all of the plans and all of the craziness, you are madly in love with the man/woman you're going to marry. That, no matter what, you will end up with the person you want to be with. Don't be ashamed to act a little twitterpated, no matter your age. No matter the time.

3. Remember why it is a day to celebrate.

While you should have fun and enjoy all the plans, food tastings, parties, venues, and more, don't forget that all the aspects the go into that day are just things. You are going to be celebrating the joining of two peoples' lives become one. You will be celebrating the promise you are making in front of friends and family. Don't get too caught up in all the materials that go toward the celebration. If something goes wrong, just remember what you will be there to do.

4. Remember to stop and smell the roses.

When you are in the middle of comparing finances and the cost of your dream venue, take a moment to look up. See those people around you. Laugh at all the ridiculous things that you are sure to encounter. Hear what they are saying. Keep it in mind for later times of tribulation to come. Stop to look at your fiance and smile in anticipation of you two becoming married. Just take a breath.

5. Remember to make memories.

Are you trying on your tenth dress? Maybe starting to feel like it's hopeless and you're not going to find the right one? Well, try on another dress that you never would have usually put on and go out to the people with you. No matter what dress it is, or how bad it looks, go and strut your stuff. Enjoy the reactions of your friends and family and allow yourself to giggle a little at yourself. Or, maybe you and your bride tribe are getting frustrated at all the individual demands. Stop everything and do something that you and your friends have always enjoyed. If you are making your own invitations, grab the tape and do something ridiculous just to get everyone laughing. Make memories that you will be able to look back on in the future.

6. Remember that it is a day for you and your fiance.

While it is important that your family and friends are comfortable on your big day, don't change everything that you want your day to be, just to make them happy. Especially not if it will compromise your happiness. Remember that it is your day, not theirs. And when it comes to their time to get married, it will be all about them. Don't over exert yourself by trying to make everyone else happy, because it is impossible to please everyone.

While planning your wedding will seem like an impossible task when you first begin, in the end, make sure that it is something that you will want to look back on fondly. I know that I will be trying to remember these things while planning mine. Whether it is a big ordeal, or a small, intimate celebration, make sure to enjoy it. Allow yourself to get swept away on the excitement. Let yourself talk about the romance. Go ahead and believe that your big day will be just like a fairy tale and enjoy it even more because of all the work you put into it. Just remember who you are and why you're getting married in the first place.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black-and-white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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In Real Life, 'Plus Size' Means A Size 16 And Up, Not Just Women Who Are Size 8's With Big Breasts

The media needs to understand this, and give recognition to actual plus-size women.

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Recently, a British reality dating TV show called "Love Island" introduced that a plus-sized model would be in the season five lineup of contestants. This decision was made after the show was called out for not having enough diversity in its contestants. However, the internet was quick to point out that this "plus-size model" is not an accurate representation of the plus-size community.


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Anna Vakili, plus-size model and "Love Island "Season 5 Contestant Yahoo UK News

It is so frustrating that the media picks and chooses women that are the "ideal" version of plus sized. In the fashion world, plus-size starts at size 8. EIGHT. In real life, plus-size women are women who are size 16 and up. Plunkett Research, a marketing research company, estimated in 2018 that 68% of women in America wear a size 16 to 18. This is a vast difference to what we are being told by the media. Just because a woman is curvy and has big breasts, does NOT mean that they are plus size. Marketing teams for television shows, magazines, and other forms of media need to realize that the industry's idea of plus size is not proportionate to reality.

I am all for inclusion, but I also recognize that in order for inclusion to actually happen, it needs to be accurate.

"Love Island" is not the only culprit of being unrealistic in woman's sizes, and I don't fully blame them for this choice. I think this is a perfect example of the unrealistic expectations that our society puts on women. When the media tells the world that expectations are vastly different from reality, it causes women to internalize that message and compare themselves to these unrealistic standards.

By bringing the truth to the public, it allows women to know that they should not compare themselves and feel bad about themselves. Everyone is beautiful. Picking and choosing the "ideal" woman or the "ideal" plus-size woman is completely deceitful. We as a society need to do better.

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