Avoiding politics at the dinner table is hard enough on a regular night. Let say there are four people in your family. That's a lot of different opinions already. Now what if we add eight or ten more? On the most pressured dinner in the year? Three weeks after the most controversial and polarizing election in the history of the U.S.? Welcome to Thanksgiving 2016. Here is your survival guide*. These may or may not describe your life. Good luck
*Disclaimer: this does not reflect my wonderful family. It's a joke, y'all.
1. If everyone sits down and the cold war begins.
No one has said anything but DEAR GOD THERE IS A VIBE. You start out in the sweet bubble of "wow you're so much bigger now" "mm Grandma's cooking is delicious." But you know that bubble will pop. Maybe it'll a passive-aggressive remark to a completely innocent joke. "Ha, well you never know, Trump IS president now!" or maybe it'll be to fill an awkward silence. "So how 'bout this election. Doozy, right?" but no matter the delivery, you know it's coming. Just keep focusing on the pie.
2. If your *enlightened* college freshmen cousin is wearing ironic campaign paraphernalia just to stir the pot.
Probably a psychology major. Probably male. Probably never gave a crap before that girl in his dorm said some stuff that "made a whole lot of sense". And now he's here trying to give your grandpa an aneurysm. The advice here is simple. DON'T. FEED. THE. TROLL. That's all he wants. That's his whole thanksgiving purpose.Just ignore it.
3. If your *slightly* racist uncle mentions something slightly racist.
Why does everyone seem to have a racist uncle? Do you confront? Do you ignore? Is there any more wine left in the kitchen? In the least surprising twist in history, you're uncle has said something that made everyone at the table cringe into their stuffing. Luckily his wife or children usually field this one to make it less awkward.
4. If someone asks you who you voted for.
First off, if you want to tell them, just tell them. They asked and you're at liberty to share that without shame. Secondly remember that its nobodies beaver dam business. "I'd rather not share something so personal" is a completely acceptable response if you so chose. By the way, that's an acceptable response to ANY question you don't want to answer. Period.
5. If the whole family is ranting about Trump or Hilary and you disagree.
While again, you have every right to respectfully to disagree with people, now might not be the time. You may want to defend your candidate, but for the sake of Nana and the meal she prepared and how much she wants the family to get along, try and keep things cordial. DO IT FOR NANA.
6. If the whole family is praising Trump or Hilary and you disagree (this one is so much worse).
Geez... I don't know. WAIT. I GOT IT. Try and focus on the actual holiday and all that you're grateful for, That includes these crazies. Think of all the times that you've enjoyed with them and all that you agree on and all the times that they WEREN'T saying things that make you want to throw up your deliscious turkey.
