Let's be honest for a minute: being happy is not always easy. We tend to feel like we don't have the right to be happy or that when we really are content with our lives, we wonder what we did to deserve it because it seems so surreal. We are pushed and pulled every which way by life and all of its stressors whether it be work, school, relationships, etc. When one thing starts to fall by the wayside, we watch every other aspect of our lives topple with it, leaving us to pick up the pieces of what we thought was something else's doing. In reality, regardless of how cliche it may sound, our happiness is in our own hands. All of the tools necessary to unlock that inner joy and peace are already ingrained in our minds and bodies, but we must use them to our advantage in order to stay in that happy, healthy mindset, even when things get extremely tough. The way I look at it, life is a test of our strength and the universe tends to send things our way based on how we react to certain obstacles and achievements. With these tips, you'll be well on your way to staying happy even when it seems impossible.
1. Don't Take Anything Personally
I recently dipped into my spiritual self and read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, a Toltec shaman who makes a living off of his immense wisdom. One of his agreements was exactly this: don't take anything personally. When someone is rude to us we tend to get very offended, even if we don't know that person. It's instinctive to believe that we did something wrong to make that person act poorly towards us, but this just isn't the case. Nothing that is said or done to you is your fault; it is the fault of something poisonous, so to speak, within that person that is causing them to treat others badly in order to make themselves feel better. Unfortunately, we all do it. We take out our pent up anger and deep-rooted issues on those around us, whether they be loved ones or complete strangers. Try to get past this and stop taking everything so personally. Next time somebody calls you a name or tells you that you aren't good enough, don't take it personally: it's not about you. When you realize this, you'll let go of the need to be perfect for others and start to see yourself more clearly.
2. Stop Caring What Others Think
This may sound extremely difficult, but I promise it's not. We constantly seek acceptance from those around us and try tirelessly to find satisfaction from the approval of others, but in the end we still feel empty. You may dress a certain way or do certain things to fit in with those you surround yourself with, but all you achieve is changing yourself. The secret to becoming a happier person is to relinquish the need to impress others and realize that the only person who really needs your approval is you. Sure, it's nice to be praised for your work or to make your parents proud, but this shouldn't be the reason why you do what you do. Everything you are and everything you achieve should be only for you; the rest is just an added plus. Focus on how you see yourself and maybe other people will start to see the same.
3. Surround Yourself With Positivity
Think about what's dragging you down in life, and be honest with yourself about it. Are you in a toxic relationship? Are you merely going through the motions at work? Are you holding back from achieving something you really want to? Start by determining exactly what is causing negativity in your life, then let it go. It may be the toughest thing in the world to do, but you have to for the sake of yourself. Notice your energy around certain people, places, and things. What seems to hold negative energy versus positive? The energy you surround yourself with tends to be the same energy that you possess. Surround yourself with positivity and you will feel it all around.
4. Take Some Time to Yourself
In this day and age, there's always something to do, somewhere to go, or something to see. Life just keeps going and going and we often forget to slow down and spend some time with ourselves. We get caught up in the things we think we need to do, but underestimate the necessity of "me-time." Whether it's five minutes or an hour, set aside some time to hang out with yourself every day and do what makes you happiest. I find that this is most effective in the morning or at night, when your day is just getting started or coming to a close.
5. Set Intentions
What's the point of doing something if there's no reason for it? When you wake up, set an intention for your day. It could be to eat healthy, to make the right choices, to just get through work, or anything else you could think of, but make sure you move through your life with intention. This will guide you and keep you motivated and grounded, even when life begins to test you. If you know why you're doing what you're doing, it will be easier to stay on track and reach your goal. This is a yoga practice that goes way beyond the mat and has effective benefits in the real world.
6. Learn to Meditate
Meditation is a way to escape from reality at any given time and leaves you with a new sense of clarity and alertness. It is by no means an easy practice to pick up but the payoff is incredible. When you meditate, you learn to train your mind a certain way in order to be in the present moment. Your compulsive thoughts and worries dissolve into thin air and you truly become at peace with where you are. Your brain shows a decrease in beta waves equating to a slowing in the processing of information, allowing you to slow down and focus on now. It can lead to increased focus, decreased anxiety, decreased stress, and increased immune productivity. Every night before you fall asleep, lay on your back and focus on your breath. Watch your thoughts as they come and go but do not judge them; simply let them pass like clouds. Notice what you are thinking, where your attention is going, but always bring it back to the breath. If this practice doesn't work for you, there are hundreds more out there. Search a guided meditation on Youtube, try a chakra meditation, or use a mantra. Regardless of your preferred method, meditation is a useful tool in controlling your thoughts and promoting happiness.
Life is busy and it doesn't stop for anybody, but we can stop for it. We have all of the tools necessary for happiness but tend to overlook them to stay in what is familiar to us; compulsive thinking, worrying, stress, and unhappiness. We are afraid to break the mold of what we know and venture into our true potential. No matter where you are in life, you are able to take the first step to becoming a happier, healthier person and as long as you are making progress, nothing else matters. Focus on yourself and your own success before turning that focus to another person and truly love yourself before anything else. Stay present, stay intentional, and you will reap the benefits that life has to offer you.
