I'm an anxious person. I'll admit that right away. Anxiety is defined as a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks. Super fun, right?

I often become anxious in social situations. I begin to feel out of place, that I shouldn't be there, and this makes communicating with people hard sometimes. Crowds often make me feel claustrophobic also; large amounts of people in one space can make me freak out. I also get anxious because of sudden change, stress in my life, or any other less-than-pleasant stimulant.

My experience with anxiety isn't the same as everyone else's. Symptoms can range from mild to really extreme, and I am lucky that mine aren't that bad. I don't always know why I'm anxious, so that can make things a little more unpredictable. Most of the time, when I get upset, I can tolerate it. Sometimes it's as simple as excusing myself from a conversation because I suddenly feel like I'm unwanted in the situation, or needing to count to three to summon the courage to say whatever I need to. These things are tolerable, yet they suck. Other times, I stare at a message for ten minutes, trying to craft a perfect response so that I'll feel like what I'm saying is important, or suddenly feeling the urge to go home and restart my entire day, which then makes me feel even more anxious than I was in the first place. I would gladly take any of these options over the sudden panic attacks that infrequently overwhelm me.

In my case, panic attacks are pretty manageable. Most of the time I'll start zoning out without talking, but eventually, I'll start crying, fidgeting with my hands, or trying to take deep breaths. These are pretty infrequent. When they're bad, which is very rare, I'll be crying to the point of gasping for air, putting my arms around myself to stop myself from shaking, or rattling off about whatever is making me upset. I often get embarrassed when I act this way and need to apologize if someone around me has seen me in this state.

There are lots of things that help me to feel calm, however. Animals make me feel better. Reading and writing help. I also ground myself, which is a process where you say out loud five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things that you can hear, two things that you can smell (or would like to) and one thing you can taste (or would like to). This helps to remind me that I'm living in the moment and that I'm not losing it, that I just need to breathe and center myself.

In my locker at school, I have a picture up that says "Be a Warrior, Not a Worrier." I try and remember this when I'm not feeling my best, to remind myself that I can be strong enough to shake off the negative feelings I'm having. Anxiety doesn't benefit me, but it doesn't hold me back either. I'm able to live a happy life while still being reminded that I'm a living, breathing person who can feel the way that I do.