As The Bachelorette drew to a close, I found myself feeling a little lost (I know I am pathetic). What was I supposed to look forward to on Monday's? Who can I make fun of now if not The Bachelor Interns? Where is my weekly drama? Well, I found it. The Bachelor in Paradise. Yes, here we go, season 3 of all of The Bachelor and Bachelorette rejects on an island looking for love. So here we go, my thoughts on the season premiere of The Bachelor In Paradise.
1. WHY DID THEY LET EVAN ON THIS AGAIN.
2. ...Evan...the banana wasn't funny in the intro. Actually vomiting.
3. Crap...I still don't know which twin is which.
4. CARLY YOU WASTED A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE...BACHELOR INTERNS STOP THIS MADNESS.
5. Lol Chris Harrison..You can't speak Spanish...stop.
6. The twins should probably stop now.
7. Jubilee, girl I have RBF too...I feel for you <3.
8. Literally cannot get over Evan. Please go home. Quit. You look like a used Q-tip.
9. CHAD.
10. LACE.
11. WHO. LET. THEM. ON. THIS. SHOW.
12. Nick is actually my favorite for pointing out how dumb Daniel is.
13. I actually forgot how much I love Amanda...she's a little cute sunshine ball of lovely.
14. Chris...please don't call them "the cast" it really takes away from me trying to get into the show.
15. AMANDA DID NOT JUST SAY EVAN IS CUTE IN PERSON. GIRL NAH.
16. Daniel you would love the twins.
17. Literally only like Amanda and Jubilee. ugh.
18. Jubilee you can go on a date with Jared but I saw the previews, we all know Kayla ends up with him.
19. INTERNS WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DATE.
20. PIÑATAS...WHHYYY
21. WHO TF IS THIS CLOWN.
22. Worst. Idea. Ever. WE SEE YOU INTERNS.
23. ...Izzy????????????????????????????????
24. I actually kind of like Carly... get it girl.
25. Maybe Chace will be okay because Lace can beat up Chad?
26. Grant don't act like you don't wanna be with Lace rn. I watched the previews.
27. Jared kind of looks like his face was pushed together when he was a baby and then it got stuck like that.
28. Why is Jared such a hot commodity?
29. Maybe Chad and Daniel will find love here...yeah.
30. Hey Lace...was it instant?
31. Is Evan really looking through Chad's bags rn..
32. Evan. You're a pansy.
33. Lace stop being crazy to Grant.
34. Omg omg omg Chad + Lace hahaha.
35. I wonder if they ever run out of alcohol.
36. When do they all eat? All I see is alcohol.
37. Chad and Lace are definitely hurricanes.
38. Vinny and Izzy are cute though.
39. I agree with Nick...God was like F**k it when he made Chad.
SARAH.
42. Drunk Chad is the real Chad. And I still hate him.
43. HAHAHAHA CHAD CRAPPED HIS PANTS.
44. Okay...I am ready for the next episode.
45. Chad Why do you have to be like this.
46. So...How did Jubilee and Jared's date go????
47. Yeah Amanda you tell it how it is. Chad is an Adult. You mom it out girl. Respect.
48. ARM-Y MCARMERSON. YOU DID NOT JUST CALL HER THAT.
49. Note to self: All Chad's are bad.
50. BYE CHAD.
There you have it Bachelor Nation. You know you thought it too.
