We've all been there.
Someone at work made a rude comment that rubbed you the wrong way, a friend hurt our feelings, or someone did something that changed our mood completely. Although our reactions to these events aren't justified, that doesn't mean we can't choose to react differently and allow these things to not steal our happiness or ruin our day. We can always choose how something affects us and whether or not we allow someone else's negative energy to bring us down or change our mood.
Here are 5 ways to stop allowing negativity to overpower you and steal your energy:
1. Realize that someone else's reaction does not represent who you are.
When someone reacts negatively to something you said, or gives you an attitude that gives you a bad vibe, that doesn't always mean you did something to cause it. In other words, just because someone gave you a snotty attitude or made a rude comment to you, that doesn't mean you necessarily did anything wrong. The first step is realizing that everyone's reactions to things are filtered through their own perspective; therefore, that rude comment Betsy made to you at work does not define you in the slightest bit, and that snotty attitude that client at work gave you has nothing to do with the kind of person you are.
2. Recognize someone else's negative energy can give you the advantage.
You're probably thinking, how on earth can Samantha's smirky comment give me any advantage?
"The truth will set you free." - John 8:32
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. You have the benefit of realizing through that experience that Samantha may not be someone worth spending your time with. Maybe you've been friends for years and she says hurtful comments here and there and this was the last straw, or maybe you just met last week and her comment made you feel off or made you question yourself. Either way, you receive the benefit of knowing what kind of person she is, and you can decide that you won't spend your time with her in the future. That, my friend, is a true relief.
3. Realize that your energy is truly valuable.
What we choose to focus and spend our time on affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. When we use up our energy worrying about a comment someone made, or spend our evening telling our three other best friends how upset we are about it, we deplete our resources that we could have been used elsewhere. Focusing on conflict (or negative energy in general) only drains us and exacerbates our problem, making it seem way more important than it is. Before we know it we have completely destroyed our mood and wasted our time focusing on some aspect or event in our life, big or small, and created a monster inside us. Your personal energy is valuable, use it wisely, and recognize who and what does and doesn't deserve it.
4. Understand that some people gain satisfaction from stealing energy from others.
This is sad but true. Some people are "energy vampires," meaning they steal energy from others, sometimes without you even realizing it! How many times have you been around a negative person, and at the end of the day you feel depleted and exhausted? Discovering that some people live to upset and deplete the energy of others can help you recognize an energy vampire, and you can choose to stay away from them. Too often we try to indirectly change others and work through conflict and come up with a solution in order to make a change. Although this is not always a bad thing, because working through things is important, some people are content with where they are in life and aren't interested in changing or fixing things; therefore, you end up wasting even more of your energy by trying too hard to fix things with that person. Recognize that negative people are not worth being around, even if it hurts to let them go.
5. Focus more on the positive and consciously choose to ignore the negative.
It seems like we hear this all the time these days. We all know someone who owns a "good vibes only" object. But the truth is, this is very difficult to do because it is so easy to allow conflict and negativity destroy our mood. However, shifting our focus to happier things will make us happier, and focusing on the positive people in our life rather than the negative ones will give us more joy. Just because Betsy told you she thought you sucked at your job, that doesn't mean you can't think of the times where your boss has told you how stellar of a job you are doing, or when you got that promotion. And just because Samantha called you a crappy friend for not being able to attend her party, that doesn't mean you can't focus on the friend who has been there for you anytime you've needed her and has always been understanding. Consciously choose to rule out the negative people in your life and spend more time with those who make you feel good. What we spend our energy on creates who we are, so focus on the positive things and positive people in your life.
Our society shapes and socializes us to focus on the negative things in our lives. If you watch one hour of the news, there is the evidence. You can create more joy in your life by choosing happiness and overlooking the negativity in your life. You can choose to stop allowing others to steal your energy by using these tricks. It's not going to be easy, because breaking a habit never is, but little by little you will notice a difference using these 5 strategies of how to stop allowing negative people steal your energy.
