For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Paxton. Hi. I have always loved my name and loved growing up with a name that not many other people have. There is a multitude of experiences, good and bad, that are inherent with having an uncommon name, or a non-traditional spelling of a more common name. Some are funny, and some are a bit more annoying to live with than others. I’ve assembled a list of the five most typical things that have happened to me consistently over the last 20 years, and will likely persist throughout the rest of my life. Just a little something to look forward to.
1. The troubled Starbucks barista.
There's nothing more familiar than the look of a puzzled barista staring back at you with a furrowed brow and open Sharpie, ready to write but unsure how to proceed. At this point, they don’t even need to prompt you with the question before you start robotically spelling your name. Oh, and if you go abroad? Good luck. I walked into the Starbucks in Paris last fall and the barista looked like a deer in headlights when I gave a name to pen onto my coffee. I instinctively spelled my name, but the “x” threw her for quite the loop (do they even have those in France?) and we ended up at “Pastil,” which is arguably not the weirdest thing I’ve had written on a Starbucks cup. It's in contention with “Patestan,” which was one of the more original ones I've gotten. That barista somehow managed to pick up an extra syllable, and that one was in the Nashville airport.
2. First-day-of-school roll call.
I went through a phase in kindergarten where I just wanted my name to be Emily. The Emily's had it easy. The Emily's didn’t get nervous or embarrassed whenever it was time to call roll. But I used to sit there with a small bit of anxiety just waiting for my teacher to mispronounce or stumble over my name on their roster. Which, by the way, is not something that gets better in college.
3. Your gender is regularly in question.
When most people read my name off of a list, they immediately look for a boy. This isn't offensive because I know that my name is androgynous, and most of the time I think it’s pretty funny. The other week I went in for a job interview and was seated in a waiting room with two other people. The interviewer came out and immediately made a beeline for the guy sitting across from me, stuck his hand out and said, “Paxton? Nice to meet you." I then had to interject and establish an incredible first impression by awkwardly waving, half-standing, half-squatting in my seat and say, “Actually, I’m Paxton.” I didn’t get the job and I’m just going pretend that that’s why.
4. You have to repeat your name at least three times.
Meeting new people is always hard, and I’m not talking about being socially awkward. It’s hard to meet new people because, and especially if you’re in a loud place with a lot of other people around, you likely have to repeat your name three or more times before anyone actually grasps the concept. This was especially prevalent the first week of school freshman year of college, when every single person you meet is new and you constantly have to introduce yourself (in very loud, very crowded places -- #tbt to Anthem am I right?).
5. You can never find personalized merchandise.
Is there anyone who doesn't know a Matt? Whether it was a Mickey Mouse mug with your name on it at Disney when you were little or the more recent “Share a Coke with…” campaign, your name is nowhere to be found anywhere in the store. This is one of the sadder parts of having an uncommon name, but it also does make personalized things a little bit more special. I mean, you should have seen me the day I got my first pair of Nike IDs. Pink and green Nike shox and I get to write Paxton on them? Get out of town.
