Putting yourself ahead of others isn’t always easy and sometimes even feels wrong, especially if you usually consider others’ needs above your own. It’s important, however, to actually value your own needs and wants sometimes first—as odd as it may seem.

1. You figure out what you deserve

You’re finally able to realize that you deserve a lot more than just a few texts a day and that you deserve to be truly happy.

2. You realize what you want (and don’t want)

When you put yourself first, you are able to learn things about yourself, like the places you want to go or the foods you want to try. But you are also allowed to discover what you don’t want, like to join the local sewing club or to grab coffee with an ex.

3. You begin to say, “yes” to the things that previously scared you

It’s not always drastic but it can range from getting that tattoo you always wanted or to joining the gym. Things that people told you, “no” to, you now get to say yes to.

4. You might feel lost

It’s hard to put yourself first and not feel as if you are trampling over someone else’s emotions, feelings or opinions. So you might feel lost or confused at first, a little afraid that doing something you want to do is the wrong choice to make.

5. You grow into yourself

Part of putting your self and your heart first is coming to the realization of who you are and who you want to be. You figure out the your beliefs and values, morals, strengths and weaknesses. You are able to take who you are in stride and evolve into who you are meant to be.