One of the new trends in today’s society is to unapologetically be you, no matter the standards society has placed on the word “normal.” Yet, we are still criticized if we don’t conform to it’s standards of abnormal. Other times, we are solely judged based on what we show on the outside, versus what is happening on the inside. The conflict between inward/outward beauty has exploded throughout the fashion and cosmetic industry, but why does the concern for mental illness continue to be neglected and treated as a stigma?
Believe it or not, mental illnesses are an actual thing and the severity of them ranges. To be in a society that influences a person to put up a front because other people don’t understand only makes things worse. What is even worse than that, though, is the other half of society has taken mental illness to another extreme. People glamorize eating disorders, depression, anxiety and many other illnesses through so many different media outlets, advertising them as beautiful things—and they are not.
A lot of times, I think people mistakenly use the words "embrace" and "awareness" interchangeably when discussing mental illness. To be clear, encouraging someone to embrace their mental illness because it “makes them, them” is not okay. However, the “you are not alone” message that suicide preventers spread to raise awareness is awesome. Do you see the difference in these two messages? There is a drastic divide between societies in how people respond to mental illness.
Unfortunately, I suffer from a mental illness—anxiety, and it eats at me everyday. I’m surrounded by so many people who don’t understand the struggles I go through and hearing some of their statements and not being able to respond the way I wish I could makes dealing with anxiety so much harder.
1. You’re faking.
Why would I fake something like this? Yes, I understand that in a society that has romanticized the idea of mental illness, a lot of people seek attention. But if a person truly knew about anxiety, I think they would be able to sometimes know the difference between a person who fakes it and a person who actually suffers from it. To be honest, I don’t think a lot of people even know if a person suffers from anxiety, because they don’t show it. At least, I know I don’t. Often times, when I feel a panic attack coming on, I go somewhere private or if I can’t do that, then I become quieter than usual and focus on working myself through it. So no, I am definitely not faking.
2. You just want attention.
Like I said, sometimes people put on shows of a panic attack, but other times, a person just can’t help it depending on the severity. I’m embarrassed by my mental illness, why would I flaunt it? Even if I wasn’t embarrassed, flaunting it doesn’t solve the problem. The last thing I want when going through a panic attack is attention. I’m overwhelmed and I want to be left alone, though I probably shouldn’t be.
3. You don’t need medicine.
The causes of anxiety disorders are all based on theories because no one really knows what they are for sure. It’s different for everyone. It could be an imbalance of hormones or lack of vitamins, etc. I have always been an anxious child, but the last two years have been traumatic. So many people told me to just handle it on my own and be stronger than my fears and for the longest time I was resilient towards the thought of medicine. The idea that I needed to rely on something to fix me because I was not “normal” bothered me (and it still does). Not to mention the fact that it is a drug and I’ve heard they can be quite addictive. Nonetheless, I worked up the courage to visit a doctor to talk about my anxiety, in which he prescribed me a non-narcotic anti-anxiety prescription that I will eventually wean myself of off in due time. As I just mentioned, I hate the fact that I am depending on a drug. Stop insulting me by telling me I don’t need medicine. You make me feel weaker than I already feel.
4. It’s not real. It’s all in your head.
Well, yes, you’re right in the sense that it is all in my head, hence "mental" illness. But it is most certainly real. Personally, I make matters worse for myself by holding everything in due to the condemning society we live in. I come home everyday, exhausted, because I work to act like I’m all put together, when in reality, I feel like I am suffocating on the inside. I guarantee that the majority of the time I am feeling anxious, no one even notices.
5. It's just a little fear, get over it.
Although, a lot of the people I spend time with don’t suffer from an anxiety disorder, and they don’t understand, a couple of people in my family do—my mom is one of those people, and my dad is not. The other day I was talking to my mom about all the remarks I keep getting, and she told me how she explained a panic attack to my dad to help him understand. Imagine you’re standing at the very edge of a high cliff and someone nudges you and acts like they’re about to push you off. You know that sense of panic you experience for a split second? Imagine feeling that for 15 minutes, or 40 minutes, and you my friend, have just experienced a panic attack. Would you be able to "just get over it" if you experienced that over something as trivial as going to the grocery store? Nobody would say to someone, "it's just cancer, get over it." So why say that about anxiety, or depression, or anorexia?
Being in an almost constant state of panic everyday not only sucks, but it is also lonely. Everywhere around me, whether I am walking to class on campus or scrolling through Instagram, everyone’s life is seemingly perfect, and mine isn’t. Hardly anyone I personally know understands what I am going through. Sometimes, I know they are trying to help or that it gets frustrating dealing with my irrationality, and I wish I could just be “normal.” But I am not normal. My anxiety affects my normal day-to-day living, and I am not going to accept it or embrace it. It’s not beautiful; it’s disastrous. I realize that I can’t always get support from my loved ones, but that realization doesn’t change the burden of feeling lonely or like a nuisance.
Nonetheless, no matter my struggle, I have a 100 percent record of beating it everyday, along with catching everyone’s comments. If you know of someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, or another mental illness like OCD, realize that you’re never going to be able to relate. You won’t always be able to comfort and you will hardly ever understand. Most importantly, you can’t fix us. However, you can support us. Even though we drive you up the walls with our irrationality, your presence makes mental warfare a little clearer. Just remember always think before you speak. Your words matter, and they can hurt.
To those who suffer from an anxiety disorder like me, or other mental illness, remember that no matter what someone says to you or how they make you feel, there is One who loves you, and He’s waiting for you to drown in His sea of grace. I can’t and won’t promise you that He will immediately take your struggle away. But I can promise you that God is for you, so nothing can be against you, not even your mind at your darkest hour.
