Do you ever just sit in your bed and stare at a wall ... or the ceiling ... or the empty toilet paper roll, and think about where you are in your life. Whenever I compare myself to my friends, I get really overwhelmed and freak out about how I haven't done half the things they've done. While some friends are engaged and having children, I'm clicking on Buzzfeed articles about pizza eggrolls. When I hit 20 in May and thought about my future, I thought about what I was going to eat for dinner for the next three days. I mean everyone told me it's important to plan ahead right? In all seriousness though, my junior year has begun and I've come to realize the horrors of what has come with it. Here are five reasons why junior year has been the worst year for me (so far ... positivity right?)
5. The Work.
After taking all the general classes you need and getting into the meat (not a cheeseburger sorry) of your major, things can definitely get overwhelming. That Critical Analysis of "The Jersey Shore" class may have been easy, but now it's time to learn about things you want to do with your life. Now don't get me wrong, last year I've learned a ton of useful things I'm going to use in my life! My favorites include the anti-derivative, the cosmological argument, and how to use the bathroom (I didn't learn that in class). But for real, it's been a month and I'm completely overwhelmed. I actually live in the library. No, I'm being serious. Before they close, I hide in a crevice under the stairs so they can't see me. And when they close? Let me just say: what happens in the library, stays in the library.
4. Your Career Goals.
Like I said before, my biggest long-term goal is being able to plan my breakfast a week in advance. I have friends who have extreme goals. One wants to be a CEO of this, another wants to own her own franchise. This one wants to be on "Chopped" and that one wants to own her own island. And then there's me. I just want a burrito man. I mean, I definitely have dreams. I'd love to be a psychiatrist/neurologist and help people out in the long run.
But guess what I'm doing now? Sitting on the couch, watching television, eating a donut simultaneously while typing this article. I definitely make moves to be what I want to be, but it can be hard when comparing your own progress to others. That's why you definitely shouldn't do it. You are who you are for a reason and can't change that. Definitely don't compare yourself because then you'll start crying while eating a donut on the couch like me.
3. Your Personal Goals.
I finished crying when I thought about my lack of progress career wise, but now I'm crying again thinking about my personal life. Like I said, I live in the library. Personal life? Gone. And it's not because people know I live under the stairs in the library. I want things. I have needs. I want a family, I might like to be a Dad you know? I'd love to have a nice house and a nice car and a decent garbage can. Is that so much to ask for? Apparently it is. Scrolling through Facebook I see Sally Timberwinkle is engaged and Joe is pregnant with twins. Derek had an awesome time backpacking in Europe and Shelby just returned from her third long trip from the NGC 1300 galaxy. I think about stuff like this and realize I'm only 20. Let's be real. Everything is going to be fine! Just kidding ... please someone help me.
2. Feeling Old.
The moment I moved into my apartment for the fall semester, I thought about how long it's been since I graduated high school. How in the world did I graduate three years ago. I'm scared. Time really flies, and then you'll be a senior. Then you'll graduate college and go to grad school or something. Or you'll graduate and work at Walmart like me for the rest of your life. Not that there's anything wrong with Walmart. I love Walmart! Too bad I can't afford anything there since I'm a broke college student. Returning from Walmart empty handed, I stare at myself in the mirror and notice the wrinkles forming on my face. The grey hairs are starting to come in and my eyes are bloodshot. I realize it's not because I'm aging but it's because I ate the weird thing under the stairs at the library.
1. The End Is Near.
College is basically over. It's like ... time to be an adult. No more of Mommies home cooked meals when you get home for the summer. Now it's time for your own exquisite meals for dinner (Kraft's mac and cheese?) There are bills and loans to pay, and groceries to buy. There's rent, car insurance, and toothpaste you have to provide yourself with. You have to do everything for yourself. Self-dependence everyone! Learn it fast before it's too late. I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, but you might be living in a shoebox like me.
So, I had to say this, but I'm in the library and a girl literally just said "Everyone is getting pregnant and married and then there's me." I'm that girl. Bye. Honestly though, enjoy your junior year. Regardless of how stressful it can be, it's the last year before life really smacks you the face. Literally, the librarian, life, just smacked me in the face.
