Life is great. No stress. No drama. Everything is great.
Until one day your significant other wakes up morning and randomly decides they don’t want to be with you anymore. No rhyme or reason, just because.
Now since you were foolish enough to let someone control the happiness in your life, your life is accompanied by a dark, gray cloud and there’s no escaping it.
There’s a lot you can do to cure the down spiraling effects of a break up, but here are 5 things you should not do.
1. Stop looking for answers.
This is probably the hardest thing not to do. Especially if you did not get a valid reason on what happened, but searching for answers won't change the outcome of the situation, so why even pry? Even if one day you do receive the answers you were ever so desperately searching for, is it really worth to reflect on all of the pain you went through? Rather than engaging in this, move on and start searching for what is beneficial for you. Looking for answers will not lead to closure entirely; it will just lead you to believe that it was all your fault, changing your "blame" perspective entirely.
2. Stop isolating yourself from the world.
Taking some time to cope for yourself is completely normal, but isolating yourself from the world makes things ten times worse. If you ever find yourself balled up in your room, upset, ask yourself if this is what you would be doing if things were completely normal. Go to the gym, make plans, go out, and get drinks, just simply take your mind off of what is hurting you. Just because someone walked out of your life unannounced, does not mean you have to walk out of your own life.
3. Do not frantically look for another significant other.
Stop. Before you download that Tinder app (or whatever dating app of your preference) realize that people on Tinder do not have the same intentions as you do! If you are looking for something long term after you just got out of something long term, understand that someone you match with on Tinder is probably not on the same platform as you are. Take some time for yourself because that is what you essentially need (not another person who is just going to screw you over). And if you are doing this to get back at your ex, just know they can play your game ten times better-which will just backfire on you anyways.
4. Stop nitpicking your flaws.
Your flaws make you who you are and what makes you different from everyone else, and that is okay! Chances are your ex did not break up with you because you think you have all these flaws (they should have been used to them by now, and so should you)! So stop looking in the mirror and wishing you were skinnier, prettier, or had longer hair, and do not compare yourself to your ex's "new girl." That is enough to drive anyone crazy, so stay off the social media lurking.
5. Stop with the social media pity.
Speaking of social media, stop posting statuses, pictures with depressing captions, and snapchat stories about how upset you are (it is creepy). In reality, no one really cares how sad you are. They can give you all the advice you want, but the bottom line is "Get Over It Already." We all do this since it gives us an outlet to just vent to no one in particular, so we essentially do not fell like a nuisance to everyone around us, but if your ex sees that? Guess what? You lost. You are the one projecting your suffering, not him or her. Leave the venting to a family member (they are people who you can cope with the most and its extremely effective).
Now I can write an article about the other side of this perspective, but I would have to write way too many habits the "breaker upper" needs to start breaking (starting with their nerve), but like I said that list would probably exceed 100. If you start breaking these habits, you'll see your life change for the better, and you can start to welcome yourself back into your own world and put yourself first.
