First things first, R.I.P. Kenny Stabler.
It's Thursday night, and the only thing separating you from a night out on the town is an intramural flag football game. The nights warm, and the games about to start. You huddle up and go over the gameplan, when all of a sudden you spot him ... Bryan.
He walks over to the huddle with brand new cleats, shorts, a hand towel, and new Beats on his head getting pumped for the game. A collective groan from the sideline and inside the huddle, everyone knows who he is, and the team isn't exactly stoked he showed up.
Bryan, the fraternity boy and self-proclaimed All-American athlete, who refuses to sit out during any event and must let his athleticism be seen by all. He sees himself as God's athletic gift to earth despite being a special team starter in high school. He even shows up with the knee brace from his season ending injury his sophomore year.
Everybody can recite his "glory days" talks about how he was destined to go DI but was benched behind what he describes as "coach's favorite." He even convinces you to watch his sub-par highlight reel on YouTube.
Ahh, yes ... Bryan, if the game goes down to the wire you know he is the first to call for the ball, and the first to complain when you missed him streaking down the field. "I was wide open man! Why didn't you throw it?" But you know "cinder blocks-for-hands" wasn't gonna help you win. He will complain abnormally long to a ref about a questionable call and won't want to talk to anyone if the team loses.
He also enjoys being the self-appointed coach of the team. Always going the extra mile to let you know how "When you block you gotta stay right in front if him, don't let him get around you," ... Thanks Bryan.
Finding flaws in everything from the warm-ups to the way you stay hydrated. He even refers to the health awareness class he took his second semester. But hardly having any (God forbid) defections when you try to contribute your two cents.
The same guy who convinces his friends he was always a Cavalier fan, even after Lebron left, but was first to jump on the Heat bandwagon afterwards. We get it pal, you saw the whole thing coming. Maybe he can predict Brett Farve's next come back, or next year's Masters winner. The point is the guy's is a prophet for all things sports related. And continually talks about how Tim Tebow should still be in the NFL.
All in all Bryan is the guy you love to hate when it comes to game time. Over-the-wall touchdown celebrations and trash talking the other team are legal in his play book. But you're kinda glad he gets so into the game, I mean somebody has to right?
So whenever your Bryan gets his panties in a wad, just remember to sit back, stay cool, and remember he only has a year or so left before he has to torture the alumni. We salute you, Bryan, and dude... Seriously, it's just a game.
