It's graduation season. High schools and colleges all over the country are gleefully launching students into the real world like projectiles from a cannon. We're done! We've passed all the terrifying academic hurdles, and all that's left to do is walk across a stage. Easy enough, right?

I thought, and I was hilariously wrong.

Last week, I graduated from Sweet Briar College, and the ceremony was an absolute disaster. It was textbook Murphy's Law: everything that could go wrong, did. I fell during the processional, and that sent my hood over my head and my cap to the ground. I managed to get up, but I staggered over the muddy terrain in my foolishly high heels like a colt taking its first steps through a field of marijuana. I knocked over a chair. My cap fell off two more times. I tore my robe.

It was so terrible that I still haven't rubbed it in my Facebook friends' faces that I have a degree while all they have is a baby or an engagement. I can't look at other people's graduation pictures without cringing. When I think about it, I slip into a thousand-yard stare.

(When will my dignity come home from the war?)

In the true spirit of altruism, I'm taking advantage of my own experience to help others. Here's my advice to everyone who has a graduation ceremony coming up.

1. Do not just "let things slide."

For some Type-A personalities, this is a non-issue. This warning is for people who are either really chill or (probably more accurately) suffering from academic burnout to the point that all they care about is sleeping.

I was burned out by my last month of college, and so I made the mistake of letting some things slide. When my robe turned out to be a little tight, I didn't bother with letting it out or getting another one. After all, I was only going to be wearing it once. When I saw people helping my classmates pin their caps to their hair, I didn't bother, because my cap seemed to fit really well. Finally, when I ordered two-inch heels and received five-inch heels with two-inch platforms, I didn't bother sending them back. I didn't think I could get another pair sent out in time, and I was going to be sitting for most of graduation. I could handle those heels. This foolishness proved to be my literal downfall.

If I had been more diligent and fixed things when I had the chance, pretty much every embarrassing thing about graduation would not have happened. Double check everything, and make sure everything fits and is comfortable.

2. Wear comfortable shoes.

My legs looked glorious in my five-inch heels, but they proved to be the most uncomfortable things I've ever worn. I suspected they would be when I tried them on, but like I said, I was going to be sitting down for most of graduation. It turns out I was wrong on that count, too. The actual ceremony did involve a lot of sitting, but there was a lot of leading up to it that was all standing. We stood around helping each other get robed. We stood around waiting to get our pictures taken and then stood to get them taken. We stood around to line up for processional and then waited 15 minutes for it to start. By the time it did, my feet were in agony.

Ditch the heels or those dress shoes that pinch, and wear something comfortable.

3. Pin your cap to your hair.

I don't care how short your hair is or how well the cap seems to fit, pin that mess down. Men and women alike should have some bobby pins on hand, and the best place to pin the cap seems to be in the hair behind your ears.

I went without pins, and I regretted it. Not only did my cap fall off when I stumbled, it fell off when the wind picked up, when someone got too close to me and when someone looked at me funny.

...And my cap just fell off again. Thanks, Obama.

4. Finally, remember the ceremony is not as important as the fact that you're graduating.

There is a difference. The ceremony is all pomp and circumstance. The graduation is your own achievement. You've finally earned that degree or diploma.

My graduation ceremony was terrible, and I wish I had thought of all of this before I did it. However, it's done now, and no matter how it went, I still have my degree. I'm incredibly proud of myself and the rest of my class for that achievement. I hope those of you graduating in the coming weeks keep my advice in mind, but more importantly, remember that even if things don't go well, you've all accomplished a lot.