One of the incommensurable things I’ve learned throughout my short journey on Earth is how to make decisions. I know what you’re thinking, “duh Kennisa, everyone has." But that’s not always the case. Some people let decisions make them. Other people make decisions that they’re unaware someone else made for them. And some people make decisions with all the wrong knowledge. I used to be all of the above. I went through a horrible bout with depression, crippling anxiety, and pitiful self-loathing. I came out of that hole to see the light again. Once I began college I started to make decisions much more consciously and healthily as a result of all the failure I experienced in the past.

I’m sharing this list because I wish somebody had told me instead of the trials of life. But nonetheless, I’ve gained invaluable wisdom and I feel it’s my obligation to share it with whoever needs it.

1. Will this hurt someone else?

You never want to make a decision that’ll hurt someone else, strangers or family. There’s a way to do what’s best for you while keeping in mind the feelings of others. Seeing if a decision you make will hurt someone is hard if you don’t know the person, so we tend to just disregard the outcome for strangers. I don’t believe in karma, but I do believe in treating people how you’d want to be treated. Act with the faith that someone wouldn’t put you in the line of fire for their personal gains, even if they are a stranger. And as for the people closest to you, don’t burn the bridges you’ve made as a result of one decision. I promise you if you take the time to weigh the options, you’ll find that a way will appear that benefits you and is neutral or beneficial for them.

That brings me to my number two.

2. Weigh the options.

We all tend to make decisions quickly, believing that we need to make our mind up as soon as a choice is upon us. But if you practice this method, you’ll realize that we have more than enough time to just think. When you think on things for long enough, you’ll imagine scenarios and outcomes based on sound judgment. Unfortunately, these inferences are passed by when we rush to make a decision. There is rarely a moment where we have to choose one or between two options, as we so often mistakenly believe. Give your mind time to soak in the facts and the inferences. Sleep on it or meditate on it. Just give yourself the time that you deserve that will ultimately lead to the best possible choice.

3. Choose the best option possible.

There are a few more tendencies that plague us when making decisions.

• Choose solely what we want or solely what we need
• Near-sighted in regards to the future
• Avoid the truth
• Forget about ourselves

What we want and what we need are both important. They are vital in providing happiness and wellness, which tend to go hand in hand.

Much too often we make decisions with only the near future in mind. All the decisions we make are strung together and affect our whole lifespan; we know this, but neglect it when making decisions. It comes back to bite us sooner or later. Avoid that by looking at your life as more than just the next few months or years.

Try, as hard as you can, to face the truth. A choice may be painful, difficult, undesirable or all of the above, so we lie about it being the best option. All that effort you’re using to convince yourself that there’s another way, can be used to fight the pain or difficulty.

I know I said to question if your decision will hurt someone else, but don’t forget about you. There are times to be self-less, but there are also times to put you first. When making a decision, put your overall well being first. Doing this without hurting someone else can be hard, but hard has never and will never equal impossible.

There are a lot of other methods I use when making decisions, but these are my most frequent. Add to this list your own personal findings, investigate other people’s methods, and remember to always do what’s best for yourself. You’ll see decision-making as a much easier task for you.