Needing someone emotionally can be scary. Openly admitting that you need a person there to help you get through a tough time in your life means letting your walls down, showing someone your wounds and scars. Letting someone know you need them to be there for you means being vulnerable. And that's the most terrifying part, right? Vulnerability. No one wants to share their struggles, secrets, and fears with someone, only to have that person use it against them later on. No one wants to make themselves susceptible to be hurt by another person, especially one they love and/or think highly of.
When I get on social media I often see posts like "I don't need anybody" and "It's their loss, not mine." The people who post these things get countless reposts and likes on whichever social media platform they’ve posted on. What makes it worse is that, more often than not, the people who are reposting and liking these statuses can relate/agree to it in some way.
In the society that we live in today, it’s consistently becoming more common to only worry about yourself and forget the rest. I’ve seen many relationships (siblings, friends, lovers) end due to someone having the mentality that they are untouchable. That they won’t be held accountable for their actions. That their partner or friend is expendable and can easily be replaced. And if you’re on the short end of the stick, you get made into the enemy. You’re the problem, not them and it seems as if you can’t do anything to please your friend or partner anymore. The trust that you two shared beings to fade away and eventually, you're no longer a part of each other's lives.
When did it become okay to be so selfish that we can’t even take someone else’s feelings into consideration or realize the pain we are inflicting upon others?
Sure, it seems like the easiest solution to all of our problems, but the thing is, we can’t run from our tribulations We have to face them head on. I have been let down time and time again, but I choose to take those experiences as lessons that needed to be learned for the other person, if not for me. I have learned not to hold grudges against people that prevent me from trusting others that come into my life after they are long gone.
I have learned to let myself be vulnerable with my emotions.
Being betrayed and let down by someone will always hurt, but it tends to inflict more pain when we never saw it coming in the first place. It is an awful feeling, one that often leads to more intense defense mechanisms than simply being careful with who we trust. We begin to isolate ourselves from others, we hold in our frustrations, and we become cold hearted. But contrary to what you may think, you are not Superman; you are not invincible. Likewise, not everyone is going to be against you. And despite every negative thing that may come your way, you have to have a healthy relationship with yourself; It’s OK to need and admit that you need someone. There's is absolutely nothing wrong with needing someone: a family member, a best friend, a partner, a confidant. Your "person."
“Needing someone” does not make you weak. It makes you a human, just like the rest of us. And I promise you, “the rest of us” all need someone to be there for us, too.
