Listen guys! We've all been in that situation where we start catching feelings for a guy. You may think things are finally moving to the next level until he starts getting distant. By "distant," I mean the short responses, EXCUSES, and the sudden weird vibes you get when talking to him.
In the beginning, the conversation is amazing and you guys are talking about your majors, what you like to eat, favorite scary movies, and more. But all of a sudden, you stop receiving those good morning texts and the vibes change. Trust me, everyone knows when a dude says good morning to you, it means he's interested and wants to... you know.... get to know you a little better? If they're just not that into you, you'll also feel like you're the one always texting first and making an effort and it's a little tiring. Trust me, you know the vibes of a good conversation and a bad conversation, which is the start of being "ghosted."
The excuses start piling in and you find yourself irritated because the guy you are feeling isn't messaging you like how he was in the beginning. This may be a sign you are in the pre-ghosting stage, honey. It sucks, but that's how many people are. I hate the passive-aggressive and awkward feeling and I wish people were straight up with their feelings. If you are unsure if this may be your situation, here are some of the most played-out phrases guys use when they don't want to talk to you anymore:
1. "I just need some space."
I mean, if you want to go over to NASA, you sure can! Listen, if you are wondering why they are being distant and they message you with THIS, then that means, he needs space from YOU...PERMANENTLY. Once a guy says this, that means he doesn't want to talk to you anymore so don't even bother trying to ask another question.
2. "I've been hurt too many times in my past relationships so that's why I _________________."
I hate when men use this line. Just because you've been hurt by girls doesn't mean it's okay to hurt someone else. Please save this excuse for a dumb girl because I'm not the one to be a pushover. If you've been hurt too many times then maybe you should do things differently with someone else and tell that person straight up.
3. "I don't care if you talk to other guys, I can't stop you."
Translation: HE DON'T CARE SIS! Stop being loyal to someone who has multiple partners on the side. And PLEASE go to the doctor in case because some guys are wild out here.
4. "You deserve better."
You're right, we do. Maybe you could have told me that from the beginning? At this point, you deserve a dumpster.
5. "Damn that's crazy."
What's crazy is the amount of times you stay lying but okay. This phrase means, "I don't care, but I'm just trying to be nice."
6. "Lol" or "Haha."
Guys, this means that the conversation is boring and I want you to stop talking to me. It's more of the "passive-aggressive" way of ending the conversation.
I don't know what's worse; THIS, "lol," or just being left on read. This also means that the conversation needs to end and there's nothing more to the conversation. Yes, this is ALSO passive-aggressive.
8. "I'm sorry, I'm just really busy with work/school."
Sir, there is no possible way you work 168 hours a week.Yes, if you did the math, it is 24/7. I'm sorry I'm busy with school too, but hey, I'm still here writing this article for the Odyssey during my finals week. Did I mention the amount of mental breakdowns too? I mean, but I'm still free though!
9. "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship," but gets in a whole new relationship the next week
I hate when guys say this but don't hesitate to start a friends-with-benefits with you and get mad when you talk to other guys. After he hits you with this sorry excuse, he posts a pic of his matching outfits with some girl with the caption, "Happy 3 months babe!" Excuse me?
10. "My *insert relative who died 83 years ago or possibly during the BC era* died, I'm not mentally ready for a new relationship right now and I need some time."
I know getting over a death is hard and I don't wish that on anyone. However, if that is still your excuse, you shouldn't have bothered to waste another person's time in the first place. Stop using Tinder and find other ways to heal.
11. "Yeah that's cool! Still want to bang tonight?"
Clearly, the guy is interested in only having sex with you than talking about vampires at 2AM. Trust me, these are the type of messages where you really can't believe you just received this. By the way, this is the most unattractive thing you can ever message me. This is an automatic block.
12. "I don't want to post you on the 'Gram because I don't like people in our business like that."
This one is even better: "I wasn't hiding you from the world, I was hiding the world from you." I'll admit, I'm a private person too, but my friends will KNOW if I'm with someone. You don't have to post each other every second.
13. "My ex and I are on good terms and still cool. But we don't talk though." *Still receiving Snapchat streaks from their ex.*
Listen, you and your ex can be on good terms, but there's no room for contact. If you sense the shadiness then this is an obvious problem that you need to run from.
14. "Let's stay in tonight. Can I come over to your place again?"
It's always YOUR place. If he doesn't want you to meet his homeboys, he doesn't want to be seen with you in public. If he brings you to his place in the darkness, he's definitely hiding you.
15. "I mean, I'm not free until 3 a.m. though."
If you're coming over at THIS time of night, he's using you for sex. Do you have sex every time you see each other? If yes, then the question has been answered.
16. "I thought we were just friends with benefits?"
No...you clearly didn't say anything at all.
17. "My dad left me as a kid so I have problems committing."
This is also a sorry excuse. Blaming your relationship with your father doesn't mean you should do the exact same thing to someone else. In this case, you're just as bad if you have to justify this. Don't let other people's actions influence you.
18. "I'm just friendly though, there's nothing wrong with that. I can't have girl friends?"
There's nothing wrong with that except for the fact that you tell every girl the same old s***. There's nothing more annoying than a guy sending mixed signals when there's other girls competing for a spot. Just be straight up and stop playing with her feelings. Also, if you let someone else comment heart eyes on your picture while you're pursing someone else that's wrong.
19. "Titles are so overrated. If I'm all about you, a title doesn't matter."
I'm sorry I have to laugh at this one. You're just a friend sis! Or a person he bangs when he feels like it at that!
20. "Sorry, I'm JUST seeing this text now."
Everyone, let me tell you something. If someone says this to you, that means they are LYING. What millennial doesn't have their phone in their hands? Even if they don't go on their phone, they will still get the notification before unlocking the screen. This just means he didn't want to talk to you now because you're unimportant.
21. "Yeah, I'mma try. I just gotta see."
SEE WHAT? You're clearly not seeing a future with me so why waste my time?
22. "Yeah, I'll let you know."
At this point I will look like a whole skeleton by the time he let's me know.
23. "I'm good luv, enjoy."
If you have ever received this text then you need to give it up and stop initiating the conversation.
24. *_________________ liked/loved your message.*
For my iPhone users, this one kind of hurts. This is the "I'm-too-lazy-to-type" kind of guy. It's simple, if a guy is interested in you, he will text you back. If not.....well, I don't know what to tell you.
25. *Read at 6:43PM*
This isn't even a phrase, but it's an obvious fact that most guys use. At this point, delete the number and start going on Tinder or go to the bar. Actually, just continue thriving and growing and don't force any relationship.
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