The best things in life are the people you love, the places you've seen, and the memories you've made along the way.
There's this stigma about your twenties that you have to have your life all figured out at least by the age of twenty-five. But, have you ever thought about how crazy that is? There's so much pressure to be working the perfect dream job and to be married and starting a family all while working out and looking the best you ever have and having the most fun possible. It doesn't make sense - not for me at least. As my 25th birthday quickly approaches, there's a series of lessons that I've thought about and learned over the last few years that I think are worthy of you knowing whether you're 18 thinking about the future or like me, you're about to turn 25 and you're wondering what you're doing with your life.
1. Value your time and others.
When you reach your twenties, time seems to pass by in the blink of an eye. You realize that your time and the time of others is valuable. Don't waste your time on things that don't benefit you or grow you.
2. Remember that not everyone is worthy of a second chance.
That crappy ex-boyfriend who never really changes - yeah, he's not worth a second chance or .... a third. Your life is too precious to give yourself to people who don't value you.
3. Relationships matter – with your friends, your family, and with men.
As we grow older, it's important to realize that our parents and grandparents are growing older too and our time with them in limited and valuable. Spend time with the people who treasure you. Same for men - if they don't adore you and enjoy your company, it's better to let them go now.
4. Take pictures and make memories to laugh about in five years.
And further, print them. Put them in a box and pull them out whenever you need a good laugh or a trip down memory lane.
5. There's nothing wrong with being tough but it's okay to be sensitive too.
This is my best and most learned lesson over the years. I'm such a tough cookie but every now and then I know it's okay to crumble just a little bit. Show your emotions fearlessly and never let anyone put you down for them. Be unapologetically you.
6. Read. Write. Get Creative.
Read - so that you have stories to tell. Write - so that you can remember who you were, where you've been, and how far you've come. Get creative and never stop dreaming.
7. There’s more to life than getting married by 25 and having kids.
I was engaged at 22 after being in a four-year long relationship and single again at 23. I knew this plan of "being married by 25 and having kids by 28" was probably not going to happen. And guess what? My life isn't any less fulfilling or satisfying without either of those things. Sure, one day they will be exactly what I want - but for now, this is where I'm at and IT'S OKAY.
8. Get off social media – you’re missing out on enjoying your life.
Plain. And. Simple. View the world with your eyes, not through the camera on your phone.
9. There is no definite plan – you’re just kind of winging it.
You don't have to have your whole life figured out by the time you're 25. How can you determine the next 60-70 years of your life when you've only lived through the first 20-25? And most of those years, you were told exactly what to do and how to do it. Take a chill pill and just enjoy the ride as it comes.
10. Take care of yourself – mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Now is the time to really get yourself into a good self-care routine. Trust me. Your health is most important no matter what. Take care of yourself first or you won't be able to take care of anyone else.
11. You’re going to think you’re a hot mess but you’re really doing just fine.
If you don't feel like a hot mess 98% of the time ... then we probably can't be friends. Just kidding. But, really.
12. A job of any kind is worth doing.
As much as it sucks to not have your dream CEO job at a Fortune 500 company by the time you're 25, trust me ... it's really okay. Working retail isn't the end of the world. Serving and wiping down tables - it builds character. Graduate school? School is always a good option. Be settled in where you are right now. You will prosper before you know it.
13. Life doesn’t have to be fair to be good.
You remember your parents telling you "well, life isn't fair?" Well, they were right. Life isn't fair. You won't always get the job you know you're perfect for. You won't always turn the heads of every hot guy in the bar. You won't win tickets to a concert even though you waited hours in line for them. Life isn't fair and it's probably better that it isn't. Work hard and earn everything you want. That is what makes a good life.
14. A positive mindset promotes a positive life.
Think positively of every situation you are in in life. A positive attitude tricks your mind into believing that things really aren't as bad as they seem and after a while - you start to think that way of every situation. Don't fail to be realistic but be as positive as possible and persevere through every tough situation you face.
15. Don’t get a credit card or take out a loan if you know you can’t pay it back.
Lawd. If you can't buy it in cash - don't put it on your credit card. What I mean by that is - don't go out on a shopping spree with your credit card or take out a loan on a car that is out of your price range. You're only going to wind yourself up in debt that you can't pay off. Credit cards ARE FOR EMERGENCIES (yes, your parents were right!).
16. No one – absolutely no one – is in charge of you and your happiness.
You have the ability to decide how you want to react and feel about any situation in your life - decide to be happy even when the situation is less than perfect. Life is too short to live in resentment or anger.
17. Don’t limit yourself. Be opportunistic.
When a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity arises, take it and run with it. Explore the world and learn about yourself. You'd be surprised what you'll learn when you get out of your comfort zone.
18. No matter how you feel – get up, dress up, and show up.
Sure, leggings and big t-shirt's are my go-to outfit most days but never miss an opportunity to dress up and show yourself off. Pride comes from within. Exude confidence and strut your stuff girl.
19. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake.
Don't be the person who can never admit when they've done wrong. Apologize. Be genuine. And, move on. Simple. No one wants to be friends with someone who can't apologize or who thinks they know everything.
20. Don’t relive the past or be a 'but' person.
Your past is behind you for a reason. Don't revisit it especially when it has a negative impact on your present. And, don't be a 'but' person - my friends have heard this and now you will too (you should laugh at the phrase 'but' person ... it's kind of funny (; ). If you have to say "I really like him but ..." you already know that what you're about to say is questionable and sometimes, you're "but' is just holding you back or getting you into avoidable situations.
21. Stop regretting things that taught you a lesson that needed to be learned.
Everything you've ever done, you've done because you wanted to. You maybe didn't want to do it with every fiber in your body, but some part of you chose to do that regrettable action. I urge you, don't regret your decisions because at some point or another, that was exactly what you needed to do to reach some conclusion or learn some lesson.
22. Learn to save money and budget it for things that are important.
This is the best way to avoid getting that credit card I talked about earlier. Budget and save - even if you're only saving $20 a week. That's more than $0.
23. If a relationship has to be a secret, it isn’t worth being in.
You shouldn't have to hide your relationships. If they're somebody to hide, they're not somebody you should be with. Period. Be with someone you're proud to show off to any and everyone.
24. You don’t need to feel guilty about eating those chicken fingers.
Eat those chicken fingers girlfriend. That ice cream too. Be happy even if that means you skip the chicken fingers and go with a salad instead. Eat what you want and don't let anyone judge you for your choices.
25. The best is yet to come.
I hear that your 30s are the best years ever. I'll continue to believe that and while I'm here in my remaining twenties, I'll make the next five years the best they possibly can be.
