When I was growing up, my family had a million and two traditions, behaviors, and activities that I always thought everyone did–until I got to college. Once I started interacting with more and more people from all over the country (not my highly Irish neighborhood), I learned that these things aren't, in fact, what your average American family does. I figured out that they're specific to one type of people: the Irish. Having just recently found this out, and considering the fact that it's St. Patrick's Day week, I decided it was the perfect time to break down what truly goes on in an Irish household. Whether your parents were born in Ireland or your great-great-great grandparents, you'll definitely relate to these 24 things!
1) You're not an only child
You probably have a few brothers and sisters, and it's likely that you're all very close in age.
2) In fact, nobody in your extended family is an only child
You're always shocked when people say they don't have cousins, aunts, or uncles.
3) You're close with all of your cousins
When you cancel plans with other people to hang out with your cousins, they don't get it. "Is your mom making you?" is a frequent question, which you are all too happy to answer "Nope!" to. Your cousins are your best friends, and you're just as close with them as you are with your siblings. You'd take a night out with them over your friends any day of the week. Who else will ever understand your crazy childhood?
4) Everyone's names are extremely Irish
You know at least seven Patricks, likely with two in your immediate family. Honorable mentions would also be John, Colin, Bridget, Colleen, Aidan, or Kevin. And yes, the spellings almost never match the pronunciation the more and more Irish you get (see Eóin, Aelis, Aoife, or Maili).
5) You know all of the words to "Danny Boy"
And most likely When Irish Eyes Are Smiling. And pretty much every other Irish folktune out there.
6) Your mom forced you to Irish dance...
You either loved it and practiced all through college, or your quit when you were seven. There is no in between.
7) Or altar serve
8) Family gatherings are loud
Your family is loud anyway, but once alcohol is flowing, things go from like a 6 to a 10 real quick.
9) Every funeral, wedding, Christmas party, or picnic is always open bar
Someone always gets too drunk, and then there's always the stories that go floating around the next day. It's like a college house party, with a little bit more sophistication and dignity. Only a little.
10) You've either been to Ireland or are planning to go
Some people make pilgrimages to Mecca, some to Israel, but the Irish Catholics? Well, you can bet it's on our bucket list. If you've been to Ireland, you know it's the most beautiful place in the world. If you haven't been, you're in for the best time of your life.
11) Your mom/dad knows how to make potatoes at least 4 different ways
Potato leek soup, mashed potatoes, potato pancakes, sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top, homefries, roasted, baked.... you've had them all, and you love them all.
12) St. Patrick's day is more exciting than your birthday
He's almost not wrong.
13) At least one person in your family has red hair
And if you don't have red hair, people will most definitely ask you why you don't, since, after all, you're supposed to be Irish and whatnot.
14) Your staple insult for your annoying siblings was "póg mo thóin"
Your Irish curse words were always accepted, welcomed, and even vaguely encouraged in your household growing up. But if you took the Lord's name in vain, heaven help ye.
15) Similarly, you also had a sign hanging in your house saying "céad míle fáilte"
If one thing is true about the Irish, it's that they're always ready with an open door, a hug, and a plate of cookies that are reserved strictly for the guests. But that never stopped you from sneaking one or two with your siblings.
16) You pray to St. Anthony on a daily basis
When you are constantly losing your keys, phone, and wallet, you definitely feel like Anne Hathaway does in this gif. But a few chants of "St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come 'round, something is lost and cannot be found" later and you find your stuff every time. Thanks, bro.
17) If someone offers you a coffee at a family gathering, there's a 100% chance it contains hard alcohol
Whiskey, anyone?
18) You have no filter
And you don't trust anyone who does. Why wouldn't you say exactly what you're thinking unless you're hiding something?!
19) If you hear "Jesus, Mary & Joseph!" you know some serious shit is about to go down
Spilled milk? Hole in her favorite sweater? Toilet paper all over the living room? Someone ate all the cookies she just baked for the neighbors? You bet she's gonna scream this and then come running after you because, in all honesty, we know it was your fault.
20) Your entire family owns Notre Dame gear
Even though you live nowhere near Notre Dame, the school must be supported at all costs. We are the fighting Irish, after all.
21) The Dropkick Murphys always hype you up for a night out
Or Flogging Molly, or the Wolfe Tones, whatever gets you going. But you can bet your ass it's gonna have some bagpipes at some point or another.
22) Your parents call out every name in the household before yours
If it's a good day, they'll get your name right on the second try. On a bad day, they'll call you the dog's name before your own. There is really no winning.
23) You never talked about feelings. Ever.
Ah, John Mulaney, speaking the truth of our people.
24) You don't have to, though, because you know your family would kick anyone's ass if they dared to cross you
Just replace the Italian accent with an Irish one, and all of a sudden The Godfather looks eerily similar to your average family get together. But you wouldn't have it any other way.
