This summer, I saw a sixty-year old woman do this:
It has now been close to two years since I started practicing yoga regularly, and while I thought I was pretty good at it, I learned a few weeks ago, while watching the sixty-year old woman and many other people stronger than I do Eight-Angle pose, or Astavakrasana, that I have a long way to go.
(Warning: about to get personal)
The day after Christmas in 2013 my mom passed away. She had been very sick for a very long time. But naturally, her passing destroyed me. I came back to school after that winter break utterly lost. Somehow everyone knew what had happened, yet no one really knew what to do with me. I got a lot of hugs, and a lot of "everything will be ok's," but nothing anyone could say or do was going to make my daily life any more bearable.
My mom had been a yogi, and before she got sick she practiced very regularly. While I went with her to class every now and then, I didn't really get into it myself until after she had passed. I thought that if I practiced something she loved, maybe a part of her would stay with me. And if nothing else, I'd at least get a little bit of exercise. Almost two years later, I can say with sincerity that yoga saved me. At first it was just like taking an Advil; it only took my mind off of my grief for about an hour. But the more I practiced, the more I was able to stay connected to my mom spiritually and the more I was able to just be myself again.
Okay, okay, enough of that. You get the point. In other words, yoga is very important to me.
Back to the ridiculously challenging class I attended. Some of you actual athletes may laugh at me for what I am about to say. But, as I have been delving more and more in depth into my practice, I thought this class would be a a good kind of challenge. However, the class I attended was so much more challenging than any other yoga class I have been to, let's just say sweat was actually dripping off of my face and onto my mat (and this was no hot yoga class). I used to think yoga was great because I got exercise with just a misty glow left on my face afterward. Not anymore.
Throughout this class I thought many things, some of which may not have been very "yogic," per se. Whatever your reason for practicing yoga may be, if you have ever been to a yoga class, challenging or not, you may be able to relate to these things:
1. When your hands start slipping in downward dog because your hands are too sweaty
2. When the instructor tells you to set an intention for the class and you can't think of one:
3. When the instructor uses the Sanskrit name for a pose and you have no idea what you’re supposed to do
4. When the instructor tells you that you look good in your warrior II and you feel like an actual warrior
5. Frog pose.
6. When the person in front of you has slightly see-through yoga pants
7. When you panic because what if your yoga pants are slightly see through too?
8. When you’re jealous of the girl next to you’s sports bra from Lululemon.
9. When someone takes your favorite spot in the room
10. When the instructor adjusts your hips but puts her hands a little too close for comfort.
11. When the instructor tells you to do a headstand.
12. When the instructor tells you to turn off your mind and you suddenly remember twelve things you were supposed to do
14. When you think you look like this
but actually look like this
15. When you forward fold and realize how badly you need a pedicure
16. When you become friends with the regulars in the class
17. When the instructor spritzes lavender on you during savasana
18. When you almost fall asleep in savasana
19. When the instructor says “the light within me honors the light within you” at the end and you feel really special
20. And when you realize that you are, actually, really special.
21. When you leave the class feeling really balanced and at peace with your life.
Maybe in a year you’ll be able to join those freakishly fit 60-year-olds in Astavakrasana. But for now, life is pretty good.
Namaste.
