In honor of my twenty-first birthday tomorrow on August 11th, I decided that I want to take some time and reflect on my life. The good, the bad, the chaotic and messy and the explainable. Here are twenty-one things that have made me who I am today. Some are traditional, and some are very personal.
1. Having a "unique" family.
My family has always been a little off beat - the way it is, I mean. Not my family as people. They're wonderful and I love them. But I kind of grew up with a little dysfunction. (For example, my biological father was never there, and I was adopted by my step father at the time when I was seven years old, etc.) But these things have made me who I am today: strong as ever and I can easily adapt to certain situations that might be harder for other people my age.
2. Embracing my talents throughout my teenage years.
Ballet, tap, jazz, violin, writing, singing, painting, drawing... I'm happy at how much my passions and hobbies have progressed throughout the years, and have given me something to look forward to and strive for. I wouldn't be myself without discovering any of these things.
3. Getting my driver's license.
I was kind of behind with getting my drivers license. When I was 15 and 16, most people my age already had their license or weren't that far from receiving it. I didn't get mine until I was 18, but I was so happy and proud of myself. I could finally go places without asking for a ride. It was such a mile stone - and I passed my behind the wheel test on the first try!!
4. Getting my first kiss.
I was 14 when this happened, and to be honest, I didn't think it would ever happen at all. It was with this guy who I was crushing on hardcore. Once I got my first kiss out of the way, I felt like a real woman. Afterwards, everything changed for me. And it was just the beginning.
5. Going to my "first real party."
Throughout high school, I was technically a "good girl" who didn't need to go to parties to be cool or have fun. Actually, I didn't even know where these so called parties were. I hung out with my close group of friends, bummed around town and got Taco Bell and just watched movies. After I graduated though, I went through a "party phase" and well... I think you can figure it out. I experienced what I never got to in high school. It was short lived, but it was definitely an experience. Not exactly sure if they were worth it, though.
6. My first heartache.
When I was seventeen years old, I fell hard and in turn, got my heart smashed like no other. My first serious boyfriend and first love, decided to break up with me and I'll never forget that Saturday afternoon at my house, when he did it. 2012 was a really hard year for me when that happened. I endured my first real heartbreak and it took a really long time for me to recover. It took such a toll on me and lots of tears were shed. To be honest, this is the best I am right now with the multiple heartbreaks - but I still have a ways to go. It was a very special relationship to me.
7. Falling in love.
I should have put this before the last one, but I fell in love for the first time when I was 15-years-old. It was innocent, and wonderful and 100 percent genuine... I think so, anyway. It's a first love that will stick with me forever, and such a grand one at that with a lot of history. I'll never forget this one.
8. Dating a 23-year-old when I was 18.
After I graduated high school, I had my first "summer fling" after my first love broke up with me a second time. I had three months of fun and dated a twenty-three year old college graduate and was introduced to a totally new "adult world" that was thrilling and scary all at the same time. It was also kind of intimidating. I ended up breaking it off with him, and a little birdy told me that I really did some damage on him. I didn't know I had that kind of effect.
9. Watching my little sister be born.
This is a big one. It was August 10th, 2011 and I was actually in the room when my mom was delivering my baby sister, Sophia Rae. That day marked our 17-year difference. I remember it vividly. When she came out, all red with red hair, I was sobbing and laughing - happy and overwhelmed with emotion all at the same time. It was an incredible day.
10. Getting into UW-Whitewater and experiencing dorm life.
After I graduated from high school, I spent a year at UW-Waukesha, a community college. I liked it but I really wanted to try dorm life and to expand a little bit more. I finally applied to UW-Whitewater and was accepted. That following fall, I experienced the notorious dorm life, which I learned to love. The independence was my favorite. This is a big one, because it was a huge step for me - being away from my family for the first time in twenty years.
11. Standing up for myself (and dealing with "fake, toxic friends").
It's quite normal to drift away from high school friends after you graduate from high school. However, it was when I dormed it at UW-Whitewater that I started learning who my "real friends" were. I had grown so much, and the little, scared, insecure and gullible Julia with no back bone was beginning to disappear. I had no patience. I didn't care if people didn't want to be my friend, because I didn't want to be surrounded by people who were fake and negative. I cut ties with a lot of people who were just egotistical, cold-hearted human beings. It's probably one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life: and it shows that I have matured quite a bit. I deserve the best for myself, and I had to take care of myself.
12. My first full time job.
Working at Windwood Country Club and Golf Course in my hometown! Definitely a different job from any of the other ones I've had in my life. Having this job has taught me a lot about responsibility.
13. Going on mini-road trips.
I've just gotten into a car with one good friend or a couple of friends and have driven to absolutely nowhere. I've been doing this off and on ever since I've gotten my license and a car. There was one time last year when my friend Krista and I drove through like five different cities one night just for the hell of it. When we got to stop signs, I would flip a coin, and if it landed on heads for example, she would drive left. I plan to go on even more, extended and exciting road trips in the future.
14. Pursuing my dream of being an author.
Studying English Education at UW-Whitewater, in order to be a professor someday. I still have A LONG WAYS TO GO, but I'm doing it, and going to college is an example. I'm not giving up and I'll do whatever it takes to make this passion my life.
15. Seeing A LOT (And I mean a lot) of concerts starting at age 16.
I've been a concert junkie since attending my first "real" concert when I was 16-years-old with my then boyfriend. I saw Arctic Monkeys at The Rave in Milwaukee and from there, I was hooked. This was also my period where I was getting into really good, indie and alternative music that meant a lot to me. Throughout the years, I have seen The Joy Formidable, Matt and Kim, Cage The Elephant, Wavves, Walk The Moon, Family Of The Year, Foster The People, Best Coast, St. Lucia, Sleeper Agent, Bleachers, Tokyo Police Club, The Mowgli's, Death Cab For Cutie, Young The Giant, aaaand probably a few others that I can't think of right now that I will probably remember later.
16. Meeting the band Foster The People.
AHHHHHHHH. I will never ever for the life of me forget the moment that I met Foster The People when I was twenty. Foster The People has been one of my top favorite bands since I discovered them at 16-years-old. They've impacted my life a lot and have helped me through a lot of hard times. Before the show though, I was walking to The Rave with my friends, and I saw freaking Mark Foster walking across the street. I yelled "OMG. OMG MARK. MARK FOSTER HI!" and waved like a psycho. He smiled and waved, cool as a cucumber. I remember walking up to them, nervous as all get out and shaking their hands. Once I got up to Mark Foster, I nervously said "You're amazing. I've loved you guys since I was 16." He said "Oh man, that's awesome. I'm so glad you came out tonight." I then turned, starstruck and tripped on the side walk. How lovely. Oh, I also got their autographs.
17. Learning to cope with anxiety, depression and OCD.
And coming out strong after enduring a lot of pain and struggles. I was diagnosed with depression when I was eleven years old and since then, it's just been really hard for me. I've gone through some really dark times and have done some silly things. But, I'm here. I'm still here and I am one strong woman. One things I've learned about myself is that I am very resilient and I underestimate how incredible I am. Last January, I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital because I really needed help - and I was strong for admitting that and getting that help. There, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Though I have my quirks, as I like to call them, I manage to get through the day with a strong mind and a good heart. I've come far and I am so proud of myself.
18. Finding out I have a learning disability.
I am math deficit. I found out that I have a math learning disability my junior year of high school. They didn't know I had it because I did so well in my other classes: English and History. So, it was very well hidden. When I found out, I cried, and I did feel like I was really stupid. I have struggled immensely with this math issue, because it has gotten in the way of taking other classes needed for my major, and just focusing on my major in general. It has been quite an obstacle, and I have had so many moments of discouragement. But again, I am still here and I am not going to give up. I have dreams and I will get there. And I am not stupid. I just have to work harder than others.
19. Chopping off thirteen inches of my hair.
When I was 19, I cut off all of my hair. Literally... like, all of it. I had super long mermaid hair, so it was very hard for me. I was really attached to my hair, as well. (Literally and figuratively) I know hair is hair, but this was huge for me. I felt so happy and liberated, and I knew I was doing something good, by donating to locks of love.
20. Realizing that it's okay to not have my father in my life.
My biological father was never truly there in my life. I started writing to him when I was 13 years old, though, because I was curious about him. Throughout my teen years, we talked and hung out and I thought he was the coolest person ever. However, this year I moved in with him and I found out a lot about him. It's kind of personal, but certain circumstances made it so his true personality shone through. It's been hard, but I have come to accept that I am strong and I don't need him in my life.
21. Doing what I am doing right now at this moment.
I know this one is kind of vague, but I honestly couldn't think of a last one. There are so many things that have happened in my life, but because there have been so many I just can't think of all of them right now. I'm going to continue to be myself and grow, and hopefully good things will come out of it. I'm happy that I am starting to accept who I am, flaws and all - and I guess they're really not flaws. They're perfect, in a way. Because without them, I wouldn't be Julia: resilient, funny, wild, introverted, quiet, loud, happy, sad, weird, random, colorful, artistic, musical... I'm just going to see where life takes me, and this list will gradually become longer.
