Thank You, 2017: Six Things You Taught Me

Thank You, 2017: Six Things You Taught Me

I laughed, I cried, I loved, I lost, but above all I learned.
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2017 has been a year of change in my life. I have loved and lost, graduated, met new friends and lost old ones. I have moved on from high school and gained a couple ounces of independence. I have experienced new things, laughed and cried, but there are a few lessons 2017 has taught me which I look to carry on in the new year.

Lesson one, Highschool sucked. I don’t know if it was just me or not, but even though I thoroughly enjoyed high school much more than middle school, it still sucked in comparison to where I am now. So far, since graduating, my life has only gotten better and what I use to worry about is not important. College is cake- except for maybe a few subjects, but if it’s only two subjects out of eight that I’m worrying about as opposed to “i need this for graduation”, it’s not a bad deal. Highschool trapped me with people who I felt forced to be friends with as opposed to those I chose to be friends with (don’t get me wrong, I still have a few of those friends but some not so much) and college opened me up to making friends on my time, and not on the classes.

Lesson two, Worry About Yourself. I never really worried about others more than the usual- if they had a bad day, I worry, but I wouldn’t constantly nag in their business. The problem was I never worried about myself, and what I needed to feel at peace. Everyday i would find myself fulfilling obligations that truthfully were not important, I only made them important because they were my hobby- but hobbies can become work very easily. In 2018 I hope to work on that, and take time for myself as opposed to making myself work to meet a quota I set a year ago. I recently acquired my love for reading back, some fuzzy socks, bath bombs, popcorn and new movies. Those will be my new priorities when it comes to relaxation, and the hobby I use to trudge to do will come second. People can wait, what comes first in times of schoolwork and projects is myself and my happiness.

Lesson three, Be more appreciative. I did appreciate things people did for me, I appreciated my family and my friends, but over the past year it really hit me. Soon I will be in college, fending for myself. I will be responsible for my own well being and health, and I won’t have my family as close as I do now while attending community college once I hit university.

Lesson four, Don’t grow up too fast. I use to be eager to hit high school because middle school was hell. Then when I became a sophomore, I wanted to be a senior. As a senior, I started to realize that I would miss my school, and that feeling only increased on graduation evening. Now I am in my second semester at college and while I can not wait to go to university, I am trying to spend time appreciating where I am right now- in the warmth of my own home, with family, safe. Before you know it, you’re not with your family, you’re alone and living on your own terms and while the freedom is fun at first, it’s scary. I can’t wait for the freedom, but I am young enough to appreciate the life I have now and I am no longer in a rush to move on quicker than I have to.

Lesson five, Things will fall into place. Just a few weeks ago, I was worried about failing math, having to prolong my transfer into university, potentially losing opportunities, and being in debt thousands upon thousands of dollars. Now, I know my GPA is a 3.2 (not perfect, but pretty great considering some of my tests), and I may only have to take one class in the upcoming summer- not because I failed it, but because I want to. Things will fall into place, even if it takes time to realize it. It doesn’t do anyone good to stress out about it.




Work for your change. I have a lot of flaws, and the while the new year, new me! Mantra is cringey as all hell, it’s true. I don’t usually keep resolutions, but I need to this coming year. I need to work on my own self to better my relationships and my well being. The time has past for the excuse, “it’s just how I am, and I can’t change that”. I can change it, and I’ve done a good job going about it thus far. 2018 is the year of my positivity streak, much like it should be for everyone.

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When You're With The Right Guy, He'll Take The Time To Learn About Your Mental Illness, Trust Me

If he wants to make it work and really loves you, he'll learn all of your ins and outs.

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. The journey we've been on to get to where we are now has been one of the scariest and most fun roller coasters I've ever been on.

My mental health has come in the way of a lot of relationships, both romantic and platonic. I've never quite been able to find a way to master explaining it to people. And I still haven't. Explaining what can happen in your head, when you can barely explain it to yourself is a very difficult and often heart wrenching task.

When I had started dating my boyfriend, I was scared to tell him about my mental health. While I have gained a lot of confidence and it isn't nearly as severe as it was years ago, I know how it can get when "one of those days" comes. I know how scary I can get when I fall into a panic attack. I know how hard it can be to look at someone you love while they have a tear stained face unable to tell you what's wrong.

In the past I've tried two different things. One being that I wouldn't tell them at all and I would try to go day by day like I didn't have this cloud above my head. Once they'd see what I can get like, they'd leave. They "couldn't handle the amount of work I needed" or they felt burdened by being with me. Some would even say they "love me too much to put themselves through seeing me like that."

The other option I tried was putting it all out on the table. I had tried that once. I had told my most recent ex boyfriend everything. I laid it all out on the line, hoping that it would be different. At first, it was. He was comforting and understanding. Until it got to a point where he was using what I told him against me.

He knew my weak points. He knew what would hit the hardest and he was good at what he was doing.

It wasn't until my current boyfriend that I realized that isn't how love should be.

He could tell from the beginning that there were missing puzzle pieces. There were walls that I had build around me that I wasn't about to let just anyone knock down. At first, I found his pestering quite rude. Until he proved his point. He had come to me one night and said he wanted me to tell him everything. No details left behind.

I kind of sat there with my mouth open. I actually tried to pretend as if I didn't know what he was talking about. Within minutes, I was spilling everything. Every crevice I could have touched base on, I did. While I thought he was going to look shocked, scared, or bored even.

He didn't.

He was looking deep into my eyes the whole time. He never broke eye contact with me. He was focused and didn't say anything, just nodded his head. After I was finished and the tears were falling, he held me in an embrace and the only words he could mutter was, "You are so beautiful and one of the strongest people I know. You will get stronger. I promise."

He's taken the time to learn everything. He's watched psychologist's lectures, he's read articles. He's done everything in his power to learn what I need on my dark times. He honestly has gotten to know me so well, I think he knows me better than I know myself.

Not only has it helped our relationship as a whole, but it's helped me learn about myself in a way that I couldn't quite do on my own. He's offered me a kind of love that I've never had before. One where I don't have to fear rejection or getting left behind.

Ladies, if he's the right guy, he'll do whatever it takes to make sure that you have exactly what you need. Not just physically but mentally as well. My guy knows the days where, I could just really use a good cry and being held for 20 minutes. He also knows when I need reassurance.

A guy that truly loves you will learn these things about you. He won't ignore you, he won't brush it off and say "you'll be fine."

Take my word on it, that's the guy you'll want to marry someday.

I know I do.

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