I don’t think there could be a better term to describe my emotional state since Tuesday night than depressed.

The feeling is something that will not subside for some time and I have to be ok with that. I can say, without shame that I cried heavily that night and the day after and every day since. Our country is completely split down the middle and racism has prevailed in a time where togetherness was needed more than anything.

Hillary Clinton won the election that night. The popular vote was in her favor and this is the second time in our country’s history that the Electoral College has stopped a more deserving candidate from becoming president.

I can sit here and write on the destruction of this country that will most likely come from this election but I don’t seem to have the energy in me to give Donald Trump the time of day that his ego lives off of.

So I will write on why moving and fleeing the country is the last thing we should be doing. Other than the fact that most of the people, whom are citizens and/or undocumented that I love, are here I can not give this country so easily to the people that want to destroy it. I don’t know what it is that is keeping me here but there is still this pull.

This feeling of complete and utter panic shouldn’t be the first thing that comes out of a presidential election. People fear for their lives and they have every right to feel that way. I am still angry and devastated. I am scared for my family members and my friends. I am scared for my own body. So moving would make complete sense.

But I think that would be giving in to what white America wants. They want everyone that isn’t straight and white to leave. They want to hold on to their privilege. Why am I going to give those people what they want?

I’ve been hearing more and more on social media and from Hillary Clinton’s concession speech, that this was only one lost battle and that in no way have we lost the war. Our voices are valid and will be heard. The popular vote shows that there are more people that didn’t want him to be our president. Those people are going to lead this country for generation to come.

Hillary Clinton was more than qualified to lead this country. That is something that will bug me for a very long time. The glass ceiling wasn’t broken Tuesday night at the Javits Center in New York City but one day soon it will be and I will make damn sure I am standing right there when it happens.