If NFL Teams Were Marvel Characters

If NFL Teams Were Marvel Characters

What if we could combine the two into an epic showdown?
124
views

With the 2016 NFL Draft just around the corner, Marvel has been posting out movies like no other. So with that in mind, let's find out what teams will be drafting in the first round of the 2016 Marvel NFL Draft.

1. Tennessee Titans — The Incredible Hulk

Tennessee needs help at the offensive line to protect Marcus Mariota. He’s part Bruce Banner, but the Incredible Hulk is a mean animal who will destroy anyone in his path. Mariota would love to have him on his team.

2. Cleveland Browns — Captain America

The Cleveland Browns need a miracle to salvage their season after failing to sign any big names this offseason. Captain America would be a huge upgrade at the quarterback position. Yes, the Browns have multiple needs to address, but they need a leader. Captain America is the definition of a true leader.

3. San Diego Chargers – The Thing

The San Diego Chargers will have to decide between defensive back and offensive line. With Hulk off the board, the Chargers still have several players they could get at offensive tackle. While the Thing doesn’t have the strength of Hulk, he still has great size and could be a great upgrade at the offensive line.

4. Dallas Cowboys — Wolverine

The Cowboys need to upgrade at the pass rush for the future. Wolverine is a mutant who will claw his way through offensive linemen and become a double-digit sack leader in the NFL in the coming years. While he is a basket case, Jerry Jones is known for taking on basket cases.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars — Thor

The Jags brought in a huge overflow of new players in the 2016 offseason, but they still could use help on the outside. Thor could be lined up as a 3-4 outside linebacker or a 4-3 defensive end. Meanwhile, he could use his hammer to smack anyone out of his way to get in the backfield and destroy a quarterback … literally

6. Baltimore Ravens — Colossus

While it’s not a dire need, the Baltimore Ravens need to upgrade at offensive line after considering moving on from Eugene Monroe. After the upgrade, Fox Searchlight gave Colossus from the X-Men, his muscular metal frame would be a huge blind side protector for many years to come for good ole Joe Flacco.

7. San Fransisco 49er’s — Cyclops

The San Francisco 49er’s will be moving on from Colin Kaepernik soon, and will need a new leader behind center. The leader of the X-Men, Cyclops would automatically be a great option to lead Chip Kelly’s offense. Quick release and solid accuracy, Cyclops will just need to keep his glasses on and the 49er’s will have an exploding offense.


8. Philadelphia Eagles — Quicksilver

The Eagles traded away DeMarco Murray and while Ryan Matthews is still on staff, he doesn’t have the pure speed. Both an Avenger, X-Men and a villain, Quicksilver has the speed to burst to the outside and into the endzone without being touched. The Eagles need another speedster and speed is pretty much in his name.

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Spiderman

The Buccaneers were able to go out and sign Cortland Finnegan to a short-term deal, but he’s not the answer. Even if beaten in coverage, Spiderman has the speed and agility and fling his web downfield to pull it back for an interception. He could also be used on special teams in both tackling and return skills.

10. New York Giants — Iron Man

While the Giants signed Olivier Vernon and Jason Pierre-Paul, they still need a general of the defense. Tony Stark is one of the two main leaders in the upcoming “Captain America: Civil War” movie. While Capt. is more of a quarterback, who wouldn’t want to see Iron Man line up as a middle linebacker for the boy in blue?

11. Chicago Bears — Beast

The Chicago Bears need a pass rusher on the outside. Beast is a quick powerful mutant who could line up as either a defensive end or outside linebacker for Vic Fangio’s defense. Plus, who else doesn’t think Beast kinda looks like a bear anyways? He would certainly be a huge hit as a “Monster of Midway”

12. New Orleans Saints — Thanos

The Saints need ton of help on the defense, but none more than up front. Thanos is one of the most powerful beings on the planet and could literally blow past offensive guards and into the backfield. He would be a huge addition for Dennis Allen and his young defense. Sometimes a veteran is all you need…even if the veteran is over 10,000 years old.

13. Miami Dolphins — Deadpool

This one to me is a no-brainer due to his lazy attitude and witty employs of having fun. The Dolphins need help in the defensive back position and Deadpool would be a solid shutdown corner in South Beach. How you ask? Because whenever a ball would come in his path, he’d literally just shoot it down…then make a comment on how girly the opposing teams wide receivers look.

14. Oakland Radiers — War Machine

The Raiders were another team who scored big in free agency, but they still could use another outside linebacker. War Machine has tons of gadgets and weapons on his suit where he could shoot or blow up any offensive lineman while forcing his way into the backfield. In the end, War Machine already has the colors and attitude to fit down in Oakland for the the new and improved Raiders.

15. Los Angeles Rams — Mr. Fantastic

The Rams are right now secure with their choice to start Case Keenum as their quarterback for the 2016 season. Finding him weapons in key and no matter how dumb his power is, Mr. Fantastic would be an excellent wide receiver in the NFL. Using his body to stretch his way through opposing defenses, Mr. Fantastic could use his big hands and long arms to snag any ball across the field and find his way into the end zone.

16. Detroit Lions — Black Panther

The Lions watched their all-time leading receiver Calvin Johnson walk away from the game this past season, so finding his replacement at some point during the draft is key. Who wouldn’t want a speedster like Black Panther running a go route against a slow corner and into the end zone? Black Panther is everything you want in a speed receiver and the Lions would love to have this jungle cat on their team.

17. Atlanta Falcons — Groot

Much like the Chicago Bears, the Atlanta Falcons need a pass rusher to get into the backfield. Standing at 10 feet tall, Groot would make sense as a strong side defensive end to throw opponents out of his path and make teams regret lining up against him. The Falcons only had 17 sacks in 2015, Groot could have 17 sacks in one game for the Falcons.

18. Indianapolis Colts — Juggernaut

Finding protecting at the left tackle position is a major need for Colts and Juggernaut could be a great one in the NFL. Pretty much an freight train with feet, Juggernaut would be able to put any linebacker on the ground with a pancake block while keeping luck up long enough to make an accurate throw.

19. Buffalo Bills — Drax

The Bills recently cut defensive end Mario Williams due to contract disagreement. Finding another big time edge rusher would be a nice touch up for them to look at early on. Drax is always mad and will throw anyone out of his way to get to his desired target … and I mean anyone.

20. New York Jets — Star Lord

With no guarantee that the Jets will re-sign Ryan Fitzpatrick this season, so getting a quarterback to lead the offense is key. Star Lord is the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy. While his methods may not be the best, his results work and he would thrive living in the Big Apple.

21. Washington Redskins — Luke Cage

The Redskins only had Terrance “Pot-Roast” Knighton for one season so adding bulk on the line is a solid move to make. Luke Cage is a huge combat skill fighter who would be a great asset to the defensive line in DC.

22. Houston Texans — Human Torch

The Texans found their quarterback and running back of the future in Brock Osweiler and Lamar Miller. While DeAndre Hopkins is their number one receiver, the Texans could use a speedster for the long passes down the field. The Human Torch can fly all over a football field and with his hands, he’d be hard to stop finding his way into the end zone.

23. Minnesota Vikings — Nightcrawler

The Minnesota Vikings got a steal last season in wide receiver Stefon Diggs but after him, their receiving corp is looking mighty weak. Nightcrawler isn’t the fastest player out there, but teams would have to get ready for his “now you see me, now you don’t” style of play. He’d be a great number-one receiver for Teddy Bridgewater to look for deep downfield.

24. Cincinnati Bengals — Vision

The Bengals are another team who could use a wide receiver early on. Vision has the ability to fly so he could fly down the field to make a reception then walk his way into the end zone. While Vision could play anywhere on the field, I think his best option would be a receiver with his speed.

25. Pittsburgh Steelers — Falcon

For multiple seasons now, scouts have said that the Pittsburgh Steelers need help in the defensive backfield. Falcon can fly backwards and then have the ability to break out of his back pedal and swoop in to make an interception. So far is seems like a win-win for both the Steelers and Sam Wilson.

26. Seattle Seahawks — Dr. Octopus

The Seattle Seahawks need multiple offensive linemen to replace their weakened line after failing to resign three members of it this offseason. Dr. Octopus has four arms that could be used all across the offensive line as protection for Russell Wilson. Yes he’s a villain, but he could be turned good for a huge hefty rookie contract.

27. Green Bay Packers — Storm

The Packers need help at the linebacker position and with finding a way to get to the quarterback. Storm would be able to control the weather to make it always snowing in Lambeau Field. Remeber, it’s almost impossible to stop the frozen D of Green Bay when it snows up at Lambeau.

28. Kansas City Chiefs — Ant Man

Sean Smith recently left the Chiefs for rivals Oakland this offseason, so finding his replacement would be a very good move to make. Ant Man has the ability to shrink down to size and then regrow when needed. He’d be great as a cornerback who could appear just in time to make an interception as well as be a great tackler by shrinking down to minimal size and then make a tackle that no one would see coming.

29. Arizona Cardinals — Black Widow

The Cardinals need to add help in pass rush as well as in the defensive backfield. Much like Deadpool, Black Widow never misses her shot so she could shoot or grab any ball that comes her way. Add in the fact she’s a specialist in MMA and she’d be great as possibly an outside-backer, leading the team in tackles.

30. Carolina Panthers — Scarlet Witch

The Panthers also need help at the wide receiver position and Scarlett Witch could be a huge upgrade from Philly Brown or Ted Ginn Jr.. Using her ability to reach inside the mind of whoever is on defense, Scarlett Witch could make the defense fall asleep each play, leaving her wide open to make the catch and walk in the end zone.

31. Denver Broncos — Hawkeye

Right now the Denver Broncos need a quarterback who will be around for more than one season. Hawkeye is an expert marksman who would never miss a throw to his receivers. Face it, Hawkeye might not be the flashiest superhero in the Marvel universe, but he could get the job done in the Mile-High City.

32. New England Patriots — Ice Man

The Patriots need another wide receiver for the future who could be a stand alone type of player. Ice Man could literally put up walls between him and a defense for Tom Brady to find him or Gronk wide open downfield in the end zone. Add the fact that Ice Man is already used to the cold weather up in New England and he would be a great addition to the Pats offense.

Cover Image Credit: Fanscreate.com

Popular Right Now

12 Things Texans Hate About Oklahoma

We all know Texas is the superior state, but just why do we Texans hate Oklahoma so much?
3065
views

So, everyone on the planet knows that Texas is indisputably THE BEST state in this glorious country and because of this, we Texans deem every other state inferior. It also may seem that we have a 'rivalry' with Oklahoma (although, it's no contest which state is superior). However, this rivalry is actually more of a disdain and for many good reasons. That being said, here's a list of 12 credible, bona-fide reasons that Texans hate the state of Oklahoma.

1. The Constant Wind

Everyone has heard that the wind is constantly blowing in Oklahoma, but you don’t realize how annoying that is until you live here. You think you walk outside looking good, but the wind is like, “Haha, not today.” Also, it’s not the kind of cool breeze that’s refreshing on a hot day; if it’s cold outside, the wind is freezing cold, if it’s hot outside, the wind is a gust of hot, humid air.

2. No Buc-ee’s

If you haven’t heard of the amazing-ness that is Buc-ee’s, then you are missing out. Buc-ee’s is the most awesome gas station. They have everything, and by that, I mean everything. They even have Comfort Colors tanks with the Buc-ee’s logos, as well as the cleanest gas station bathrooms you’ll find anywhere. Unfortunately, unless you’ve ever driven to south Texas, you’ve possibly never heard of Buc-ee’s, which is a real shame.

3. Narrow Lanes

First off, the roads in Oklahoma are absolutely atrocious. The first grievance on this list is that the lanes are just too small. You think I’m going to be able to fit my dually truck and horse trailer in between these lines? Yeah, I don’t think so, that Prius barely fits.

4. Slow Speed Limits

On the subject of roads, the highways here have an average speed limit of 55. You have to get on a toll road to even have a speed limit of 75. That would not fly in Texas. How do you expect to get anywhere quickly if you have to go 55 mph? That’s child’s play. Texas boasts the highest speed limit in the United States, something we utilize to its full potential.

5. No HEB

HEB, aka the BEST grocery store on the planet, probably in the universe, but I cannot confirm, only has stores in Texas. And even then, the northernmost store is all the way in Burleson. I mean, you can buy Whataburger’s fancy ketchup by the bottle; what more can you ask for?

6. OU

The Red River rivalry is a well-known rivalry between OU (University of Oklahoma- Sooners) and UT (University of Texas- Longhorns). Admittedly, there is a lot of division between Texans on this issue, but if you’re a diehard Texan, then chances are you hate OU simply on principle.

7. Majorly Lacking Major League Sports Teams

As a Texan, we’re used to having our pick of major league sports teams, whether it be football, basketball, or baseball, and trash talking other Texans that root for the rival team is half the fun. All Oklahomans have are the OKC Thunder, and I guess hockey, but who really follows that any way? It’s America, football is king here and baseball is the national pastime.

8. Eternal Road Construction

Road construction is a necessary evil; it’s always going on. However, at least in Texas, you see actual progress. In Oklahoma, roads are cut down to one lane for months on end with no visible progress to be seen.

9. Increased Sales Tax

According to taxfoundation.org, the combined state and average local sales tax rate for 2015 is 8.77% in Oklahoma compared to 8.05 %. This seems like something really petty to add on to this list, but hey, I don’t want the government any more money than it has to. Also, when you start being an actual adult, Texas is one of seven states that does not charge state income tax.

10. No Coastline

Oklahoma is landlocked. For a Texan, whose home state boasts 367 miles of coastline (the 6th highest in the United States), this is stifling.

11. Mite Infestations

Apparently, this past summer and fall, there was an outbreak of mites that like to bite people. They were worse than mosquito bites and quite frankly, a pain in the butt to deal with. If you walked across any patch of grass, chances were you woke up with an itchy, red sore from this microscopic

12. It’s Just Not Texas

Any Texan can tell you, as we are know for our rather fanatic state pride, that there’s just something about Texas that feels like home. And no matter how many great things a city has to be proud of, nothing will ever replace Texas. Everything’s better in Texas and there’s no denying it.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Love, A True Fan

Yes I love this team, yes they are good, no I do not love them because they are good.

187
views

I love my hometown. It is cute, we have good schools, and the people are generally nice.

What I do not love about my hometown is how close it is to Cleveland.

Don't get me wrong, I love the CLE, I just don't love the Browns.

I can remember being a passionate Steelers fan as far back as the third grade, which means I can also remember people arguing with me about football as far back as the third grade. Growing up being rivals with the home team, especially as a girl, was never easy because everyone just assumed I liked Pittsburgh because they were a good team. They quickly learned that I knew exactly what I was talking about and would quickly put anyone who questioned my knowledge on the sport or the team in their place.

All things considered, I've had a good sports fan life.

Just in my lifetime, I've seen my Steelers play in three Super Bowls, and win two. I've seen the Pittsburgh Penguins play in four Stanley Cup Finals, and win three, and I was at the 2017 Victory Parade. I shared in the happy shock when the Cavaliers came back from being down 3-1 in the NBA Finals and beat the Warriors for the first championship in Cleveland in over 50 years. I watched the Cleveland Indians play in the World Series, and last year I watched one of my favorite college football teams win the SEC, the Rose Bowl, and play in the National Championship.

So yeah, I can see how you'd accuse me of being a bandwagon fan, and why when the Steelers and Penguins both won championships in 2009 the other fifth graders in my class thought I just picked two teams who were good, but that does not mean it is true.

I know my teams, and my sports, well, and honestly, I've grown to love people challenging me on sports. No one expected an elementary school girl to be able to back herself up so well with football knowledge that the boys who actually played football knew they could not win that argument.

Yes, my teams have done well, but I have some connection to all of my teams, whether it be family or where I grew up, and I don't only care that they've won big games (although I'm not complaining).

Everyone tells me that I haven't really experienced what it is like to watch one of my teams struggle, but I have every intention on being just as devoted to my teams through those times as I was when they were winning. I was devoted to the Penguins in December of 2015 when they were thought to not be capable of making the playoffs that year so they fired their coach. I'll still wear my Cavaliers gear, despite the fact that they are struggling without LeBron. I'll be there when the Ben Roethlisberger retires and the Steelers' offense stinks because we never drafted a good back-up quarterback. And I'm already mentally preparing myself for the disaster that could come during this year's SEC Championship between Georgia and Alabama.

So don't take it out on me that your team is having a losing season, because I would love to have an in depth conversation with you about how the Cleveland Browns will never truly be good until they restructure their entire management and stop firing coaches every two years, despite how many Heisman winners they draft. And I'd love to tell you all about how the Penguins will never truly be down and out because Sidney Crosby really is the best player in the world, and I'll tell you why it's not Connor McDavid or Alex Ovechkin.

Here's to Super Bowls, Stanley Cups, and championships of all kinds. Everyone should experience what it's like to see your team win one, but be ready when they do because suddenly everyone wants to question how deep your loyalty runs when they do. But don't worry, I can back up why I love my teams, can you?

Related Content

Facebook Comments