Imagine yourself running through a backwoods trail, patterned with fallen leaves and kissed with frost. It is early, your legs are still stiff, and you are accompanied only by your thoughts. Steady breathing and the crackling of sticks underneath your shoes are the only noises breaking the surface of the air. You look down at your watch to check your mileage and - you trip. Yeah, you forgot how clumsy runners actually are. With dirty knees and scraped hands you work back into your pace, encumbered with the fact that you just face planted in the middle of nature. The squirrels would actually be laughing at you right now if they could. Unfortunately, conquering grace and agility is yet just another one of those Runner Problems.
1. Spandex tans
We will forever struggle to get rid of the obvious and unattractive tan line.
2. "Salading"
We will turn anything into a salad - anything. (Thank you Allison for the new verb.)
3. Stairs will never be easy
You might think it would be easier going up cause we have endurance but no. Going down sometimes is just as hard.
4. Inconveniently broken hair ties
They will give up on you when you need them most; not to mention you never have a spare.
5. Calves will not fit into jeans
The "jean dance" is a real thing - nothing fits quite right.
6. Thighs will not fit into jeans
Seriously, years of running will go straight to your thighs.
7. You have more running shoes than normal ones
High heels and wedges aren't even that comfortable.
8. Nature calls at any and all times
On a long run or finishing a workout, we are notorious for small bladders.
9. Morning workouts are impossible
You are half asleep, hungry, and dehydrated - a recipe for a very unenjoyable practice.
10. You schedule your social life around meets
"Sorry I can't, I have a track meet" becomes a regular part of your vocabulary.
11. The GPS watch will never sync when you need it to
We have all been that person to hold up a run because the GPS hasn't linked up yet.
12. We all have a bread obsession
Surprise - WE LOVE CARBS! Sometimes we even have to hide our bread from coach.
13. You will drown in dirty laundry
You will also never have matching socks.
14. You don't know what to do in the weight room
It is a foreign land full of mystery, sweaty guys, and confusing machines.
15. Going to class sweaty after a workout
Noon workouts are fun and all until you have to change and go back to class smelling like a dirty gym sock.
16. You are probably scared to get pedicures
I feel bad for the poor lady who has to deal with my bruised toenails and blisters.
17. Leg cramps
The worst time is in the middle of the night when you stretch a little too far.
18. Knowing you have a hard workout later
All focus is lost in class and you sit there awaiting your certain death.
19. We all have that friend with awful form
It is almost embarrassing to go running with them, you just can't take them anywhere.
20. When coach says you have one more rep after you already finish
Nope, no. No thanks.
"The views expressed, [in this article] reflect personal opinions of the authors and do not reflect the official policy or position of the United States Naval Academy, the United States Navy, any federal agency, the Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.”
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