Everybody loves college, it's the best four years of your life! However, at some point during your matriculation you are bound to question exactly where those thousands of dollars your family is shelling out every year on your education are actually going, and how much of it directly benefits you.
If this sounds familiar, you may have experienced one of the many Joanne The Scammer-esque aspects of college.
1. Meal plans
An "Unlimited" meal plan typically means that you can swipe into the dining halls as many times per day as you want, but key words here: dining hall only. All you can eat of the worst food on campus!
2. Books
To any college student, this one speaks for itself. Professors, repeat after me, "Multiple $400 books should not be a necessity for one semester of learning."
3. The Bookstore
Your university bookstore may just be the biggest scam of them all, since they're the ones actually selling you these should-be gold encrusted books. Why, may I ask, did the resell value of my still-shrink wrapped $300 book decrease over 65 percent just one hour after the return period ended (that I missed because I had you know, class)?
4. Tuition
I wasn't aware that my tuition would be going toward renovating a stadium already in perfect working condition instead of the science building on the other side of campus that is literally falling apart, but OK!
5. Group projects
Group projects with group grades should not exist in college. Period.
6. Housing
Residents without AC paying the same amount for housing as those who can sleep peacefully in their climate controlled rooms is criminal, really.
7. Dining hall hours
Crying a little every time you miss out on breakfast tater tots because you had back to back classes from 8:30- 10:30 AM. ALSO, If the dining hall closes at 8:30 PM, why is all the food gone by 7:45 PM? #Rude.
8. Age
At some point you will make friends in classes above you, who will eventually turn 21 before you and proceed to rub their legal shenanigans in your face every weekend. It just isn't right.
9. Online access codes
Paying hundreds of dollars for the book itself isn't enough when of course you MUST pay for the online version too!
10. Food... Again
Expensive AF schools that don't have ~real~ food vendors on campus: Villanova, where's our Chick-Fil-A?
11. Core curriculum
Liberal Arts colleges are the dream, but a racially/culturally noninclusive core curriculum can validate biases and harmful stereotypes as truth.
12. Student-athlete perks
Annoying, but validated every home game- it's all about the money, honey.
13. Graduate success rates
The success rate statistics of previous years' graduates being shoved down your throat since orientation day do not mean that you will be equally successful if you don't put in the work for it.
14. Dorm bathrooms
Just gross. Have fun trying to clean out your Swell bottle in those tiny sinks without thinking about the conclusion of Megan's Tequila Tuesday that occurred in the exact same place two days ago!
15. Lottery system for sports games
A COMPLETE scam once your first semester luck runs out.
16. Language requirements
When you've taken a language for years and still have yet to retain anything, but now you actually have to pay to just to continue to forget everything after a year.
17. Actually enjoying it
Despite all of the general stress, pain, and suffering that comes with working hard to obtain a college degree, once those four years come to an end you quickly realize they were probably the best four years of your life. You met amazing people and made endless memories, yet now have to leave it all behind to face the real world and are left with the final scam of it all...
