I was born on June 18th, 1997. As per tradition, I recently celebrated the anniversary of my birth -- the big (or not so big, depending on how you look at it) 19. As I reflect back on my year of life as an 18-year-old, I have realized that being eighteen taught me a heck of a lot more than how to buy a lottery ticket.
1. Independence is scary.
As an eighteen year old, I got to experience my very first year of college. I was living somewhere that wasn't my house, with people who weren't my biological family. I had to keep myself moving and in order. Responsibility weighed heavy on my shoulders as I was granted access to it in bulk, instantaneously.
In other words: It was like a game of the Sims, only I was the Sim and if I managed to get stuck in a pool without a ladder, it would be my fault and my fault alone. (So terrifying.)
2. Independence is manageable, nonetheless.
I learned how to cope with and handle my independence. I made new routines, new habits, new friends -- a little dynamic group of people who truly did become a little family away from home. The Beatles were really on to something when they made it known that getting by is possible with a little help from your friends.
3. Surrounding yourself with the right people is really important.
I can't stress enough how vital I believe this is. For me, these people are those who can tell me the way it is, but can also be my shoulders to cry on. The kind of people who can make you forget your problems if need be, or offer advice to solve it -- just depending on how big of a baby I'm being in the moment.
4. Some things simply aren't meant to last.
I mean this both in very literal and metaphorical ways. My first year of college truly taught me how important it is to pay attention to expiration dates. Likewise, sometimes certain relationships have expiration dates too. You have to be able to recognize when it's happening, why it's happening, and that sometimes there really is no one to blame.
5. You aren't meant to get along with every single human being you encounter.
To quote Monica Gellar (my spirit animal), "I've got this uncontrollable need to please people." I tried so hard when I got to college to make sure that every single person I encountered liked me and focused heavily on first impressions. I lacked to realize then, but see it now: The people who like you for the person you are, and not the person you pretend to be to be "liked," are the ones who are much more likely to stand by you in the long run.
6. It's more than okay to seek professional help.
I've always been the type to be able to dish it out, but not do so well when it comes to taking it. Offering my friends advice on their mental health was no exception. It took me a while to realize that I was genuinely having trouble in regards to depression and anxiety, but once I reached out for professional help I began feeling better and was given the proper tools to help me stay better.
7. Sometimes, it's okay to not be okay.
Having and experiencing negative emotions is one of the most human things in the world. Realizing that negative emotions aren't as dirty as I once may have thought them to be and seeing how vital they are in regards to the coping process was a lesson I had a lot of trouble learning. But now that I understand, I have a much better handle on my emotions and even my interactions.
Do I really need to elaborate? #thxcollege
9. Sororities are not like the movies.
This year I had the tremendous honor of being initiated as a member of the Phi Sigma Sigma sisterhood, and I learned so quickly that everything I thought I "knew" based on TV, books and movies was so far from the truth. I have more love for my sisterhood than I ever dreamt possible -- through loving and laughing to arguments and tragedy, they have never failed me and that truly makes them the most beautiful group of women I've ever known. Even though transferring to a different university has cut my time with them short, I am reassured by the knowledge that "once, always."
10. Be sure to have an outlet.
Other people may call them "escapes" -- regardless, these are the things that you use to wind down, relax, and to have at your disposal whenever you may need a distraction. My outlets (unoriginally) include Spotify, Buzzfeed articles and Netflix.
11. Playlists are always appropriate.
Are you happy? Have a happy playlist. Are you sad? Have a sad playlist. Are you throwing a party? Here's a playlist for that. How about a playlist for sitting down and studying? Guess what -- there's a playlist for that too. Honestly, don't be afraid of channeling your inner Oprah when it comes to these things. (You get a playlist, you get a playlist - everybody gets a playlist!)
12. If something's wrong -- speak up.
Okay, so even though I've admittedly got a long road ahead of me until I truly get the hang of this lesson, this year I definitely began with baby steps. If there is something that is bothering you in any aspect of life -- in the dorms, with your classes, with friends, etc. -- you have to be willing to say something about it. Unless you make it a point to make your voice heard, your worries or troubles will more than likely go unnoticed.
13. Leggings are pants. (Don't let naysayers tell you otherwise.)
Listen: They go with everything, they're super comfortable, and if I've only got this one short life to live, I don't plan on wasting my time with jeans 24/7.
14. Dressing up "just because" really can to a person wonders.
So I know lesson thirteen and fourteen are somewhat contradictory, but hear me out. Most days, I want to remain in my sweater with a nice pair of leggings. But some days, you are overcome with the desire to just look nice for yourself and that is more than alright. I honestly found that some of my best days included taking time for myself in the morning to look my very best. You know what they say: Look good, feel good.
15. Literally nothing brings people together better than food does.
My greatest friendships have, probably non-coincidentally, revolved around the phrases: "Wanna meet up at the dining room?" "Wanna get a pizza together?" "Hey, I have some leftovers if you want them!"
16. Even though it sounds disgustingly cheesy: If you're going to date someone, make sure they're your best friend.
Since the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend and I have made it incredibly clear that we are best friends above all else. Having a confidante, partner and crime, and schoolgirl crush all rolled up into one is such a magical feeling. I am so grateful for our dynamic and how much he has gotten me through, with and without him even knowing.
17. Family will always be there for you, no matter what.
For me, this means my biological family, although for others this may mean a different kind of family. This definitely isn't something new that I learned, but it certainly was reiterated in bold lettering this past year. On days when I thought I simply couldn't make it through, my family was always quick to be by my side. Whether it be by phone call, text message, or swinging by campus to bring me home for a moment of sanity and relaxation, they were always available for support. Of which, I needed and I am so grateful for. They have been my backbone and my cornerstone, and will forever be that for me.
18. Life is what you make it and so far I have to say it's pretty great.
And at 19 years young, I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me.
