15 Of The Most WTF Am I Doing With My Life Dating Sims

15 Of The Most WTF Am I Doing With My Life Dating Sims

Have you ever wanted to date a famous person? What about an animal, food or object? Click this link for those games and much more!
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For those who don't know, dating sims are relationship simulation games. Generally, your objective is to talk to a character so that you can get to know them, romance them and eventually date them. There is also normally multiple characters to pick from, attraction/love meters, and time limits such as ___ amount of days/weeks to get a date. Some dating sims even have a money/job system so that you can give your dates gifts. Traditionally the setting for many of these games are high school but some take on a more fantasy focus and over time, these games have branched out quite a bit. There is quite a lot of imagination put in some of these games. So much imagination in fact that the game may take place in an alternate world or don't even have humans as the one you are trying to romance. The dating sim might have aliens, vampires, werewolves, animals, food, objects, or other options instead of humans. Heck, you might not even be a human main character either.

Anyways if you would like some unique dating sims to play, you have come to the right place.


1. Bird Dating Sims

Hatoful Boyfriend is a dating sim where you playas a female human teenager who goes to St. PigeoNation's Institute; an elite school for birds. Your love choices are; Ryouta Kawara (Rock Dove) who has been your friend since childhood, Sakuya Le Bel Shirogane (Fantail pigeon) the French aristocrat, Sakuya's older half-brother Yuuya Sakazaki (Fantail Pigeon), the quiet and nerdy Nageki Fujishiro (Mourning dove), The pudding loving athletic San Oko (Fantail Pigeon), Roleplaying fan Anghel Higure (Luzon bleeding heart), the homeroom teacher Kazuaki Nanaki (Button Quail), And Shuu Iwamine (Chukar partridge) the creepy anti social school doctor. If Eight bird suitors is not enough for you, one more dateable characters were added into the 2014 game remake; the takoyaki saleswoman Azami Koshiba (Java Sparrow). To add to the odd feeling some of you might be feeling, the game takes place in the year 2188 and you live in a cave... However, If you do like this game, a sequel was made in 2015. The Sequel is called Hatoful Boyfriend: Holiday Star and is available on Stream.

In Gunt Company is another indie made bird dating game. In this game you control a pet cockatiel named Gunter. With your help, Gunter can romance inanimate objects and other birds. If you would like to try this game, its available for Windows and Mac.


Hatoful Boyfriend

Hatoful Boyfriend Holiday Star

In Gunt Company


2. Dog Dating Sims

Hot Date is is an indie made dating sim in which you speed date pug dogs. To play, You pick from at catalog of questions in hopes to romance the dogs. Sadly, each of the dogs look oddly the same. I'm not being speciesist, its literally the same model each time except with a different name and a slightly different personality. I don't have much more to say about this one, except, that if you want to play, its available from Windows, Mac and Linux.

If you prefer other breeds of dogs, maybe I Ruff You is the better choice for you. In this cute game, you are a dog enjoying their time at the dog park. Also at the park is a Corgi, Chihuahua, Scottish Terrier and a Squirrel who you can talk to and romance.


Hot Date

I Ruff You


3. Dinosaur Dating sims

Jurassic Heart is a very short dating sim in which you, a human, romance a ukulele playing Tyrannosaurus Rex named Taira. If I said anymore, I would ruin the story.

In Dino Dearest you are a new student at Cretaceous College, a school full of dinosaurs. On the first day you meet Persephone a dino substitute teacher, a jock megalodon named Mikey, Duke the music loving brontosaurus, a stoner pterodactyl named Stilts, and Spike the punk spinosaurus . One of the best things about this game is the jokes. It doesn't take it's self very seriously which makes the game all the more amusing and fun to play.


Jurassic Heart

Dino Dearest


4. Dragon Dating Sim

In the world of "Angels With Scaly Wings" a mysterious portal is discovered that leads a world of Dragons. You are sent over as an ambassador for Earth so that we can learn more about this world. However, your colleague is acting weird. He seems to know more than what he lets on. Its up to you and the friends you make to uncover the conspiracy that is threatening the newly discovered dragon world and in the process you may even find love. There are four main love interests; Remy the smart scholar who works at the Ministry of culture & arts, Adine the waitress with big dreams, chief of police Bryce, and the scientifically successful Anna.


Angels with Scaly Wings


5. Horse Dating Sim

In "A Stable Relationship" you are a new student attending Platinum Stables; a school full of horses, silliness, cheesy puns, and neighs.

My Horse Prince is a odd dating sim not because you have affections for a horse but because he is a horse with a human's face. You are a Japanese anime girl who can't find love so you decided to visit the country. While at a farm, a horse with a guy head approaches you and you quickly fall for him. Sadly the farmer is planning to put him down so you buy him from the farmer. Interacting with the horse guy, feeding him, and training him will raise raise up his love meter's level. And I don't know much more than that. You can download it from the google play store and from Itunes to play on your smart phones.

A Stable Relationship

My Horse Prince for Iphone/Ipad

My Horse Prince for android


6. Nicolas Cage Dating Sims

I'm 95% sure that these were just made as jokes, but there is at least three of these that I know of; "Caging Me Softly", "Cage Of My Heart: A Nic Cage Dating Sim", and "Nicolas Cage Dating Sim".

I could sadly only find a download link to two of these games. To get "Cage Of My Heart: A Nic Cage Dating Sim" you used to have to request it from a facebook page but that page no longer exists. So, if you don't have the game and don't know anyone who has the game, you are out of luck. Sorry.


Caging Me Softly

Nicolas Cage Dating Sim


7. Adam Sandler Dating Sim

You play as a new student and meet Adam Sandler Rob Schneider, and David Spade on your first day of school. Through out the day, Adam and David do not get along and depending on how you play you could end up with David Spade of Adam Sandler. Its just a very short game that doesn't take its self seriously.

Adam Sandler Dating Sim


8. Food Dating sims

Chop Chop Fruit Salad Mystery Jam Donki Donki Dating Sim Thingy also known as fruitism is a murder mystery and dating sim combo where as and apple who goes to a school for fruits. There is a dangerous murderer on the lose called The Chopper and it is up to you to figure out the mystery. Along the way you can romance and have sex with the other fruit students. This game can be played on windows, mac and linux.

If one Food dating sim isn't enough for you, fear not! In Snow Cones you are a blue snow cone who is dating a red/pink snow cone. There is very little text involved in the gameplay of this game so it can easily be enjoyed by a wide variety of people from different language backgrounds.

And if you loved these, there is even more! You are moving to a new apartment in a new unfamiliar town. Everything is happening and changing so quickly in your life. While out in the new town you meet various food people. There is a rich and picky/spoiled French Fries, ice cream with an ice cold heart, flirty Cupcake, a hamburger that is serious about the welfare of animals, an artistic and shy candy, and your pizza friend from childhood who you haven't seen in years. Strangely, I found this game both funny and entertaining to play. Sadly its only a demo and I believe the only ending you can currently get is a picture of a dog. But its a cute dog so I guess its not a complete disappointment.

Its currently no where near Thanksgiving, but if you like Thanksgiving food or Thanksgiving is your favorite holiday or you need something to distract you from your loneliness and entertain you, this could be the game for you. In Thanksgiving Of Love you wonder around your kitchen and chat up three different Thanksgiving related foods; Turkey, Mashed Potatoes and pumpkin pie. After you befriend a food, it transforms into an anime person. After you get max love with a food, you are allowed to eat that food for Thanksgiving.


Chop Chop Fruit Salad Mystery Jam Donki Donki Dating Sim Thingy

Snow Cones

Food Court

Thanksgiving Of Love


9. Cat Presidential Election Dating Sim

In cat president: a more purrfect union, you are a teen girl looking for a job after your life dreams did not work out. While backstage at a national debate you find a bunch of cats who are running for president and they all want you to be their campaign manager. It is now up to you to help your cat candidate get elected and along the way you might even find love. There are 6 candidates to pick from; DJ Nibbles the energetic kitten, the successful Dr Nom Noms, the ever flirty Frisky, Kale the under dog, Rover who is actually a dog..., and the very angry Thunderpaw. You can play this "feline good game of the year" on both mac and windows.

Cat President: a more Purrfect union


10. Alpaca Transformation Dating Sim

Normal high school student, Saeki Kazuma, has a good life full of friends and is in a great loving relationship. However, after a fun day at the Alpaca Kingdom, Saeki wakes up to find that his girlfriend Izumi Yukari has been transformed into an alpaca. Now Kazuma must learn how to love his girlfriend in her new form.

Paca Plus


11. Wrestling Dating sims

In the game John Cena's Sexy High School Adventure, you play a new student who attends a school that is full of John Cenas. The popular students, the nerds, the mean kids, the teachers, security guards are all John Cena as is everyone else in the surrounding area. If you find your self enjoying this game a lot, there is also a sequel that you can play which involves time travel and saving the Cenas.

Would you rather be a WWE Manager than go to high school and date Cenas? In Payback 2015, you are a new manager who gets transferred over to the WWE. Your temporary boss, Triple H, assigns you to over view the Fatal Fourway at the pay per view this weekend. In this game you can choose between Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reigns and depending on how you play there is 16 different ending that you can end up with.

Do you like Wrestling and character customization? In Wrestling with emotions, you create your own wrestler who then goes out to a wrestler only speed dating event. There 400 different ways that you can make your character look and 8 different guys you can choose from to further date.


John Cena's Sexy High School Adventure

John Cena's Sexy High School Adventure 2

Payback 2015: A WWE Dating Sim

Wresting With Emotions


12. Donald Trump Dating Sims

The Donald Trump Dating Simulation From Hell is a game where you have to interview Donald Trump. Depending on how you do you may find love or get fired.

There is another one simply called Donald Trump Dating Sim. In this one you are in the audience of one of Donald Trump's campaign speeches and you get approached by Trump after his speech. All the endings to this short game are pretty bizarre.


Warning: Both of these games have loud music. If You plan to play these games at school or work, put in some ear buds or mute your devices before clicking on these links. Also these games are silly parodies. Don't take them too seriously.

Donald Trump Dating Simulation From Hell

Donald Trump Dating Sim


13. Bernie Sanders Dating Sim

As a young adult feeling sad/worried for the current state of America and its future, only one man seems to actually care about making the world a better place for its citizens and that man's name is Bernie Sanders. He has big plans for a political revolution and lucky for us, he is running for president of the United States. So by chance, you and Bernie have an unlikely meeting and he invites you to meet in various important places in DC to talk about ideas on how to make the USA better and share personal feelings about the issues currently happening in the world. A neat thing about this game is that the creator has included actual quotes from Bernie himself which gives this game a more personal touch. While we all know that Bernie was not elected President this time around, if you are a fan of his and what to look back to a time where there was still a little hope, this game could be for you.


Warning: This game has loud music. If You plan to play this game at school or work, put in some ear buds or mute your devices before clicking on this link. Also this game is just a silly parody. Don't take it too seriously.

Bernie Sanders Dating Sim


14. A Square Dating Sim

You attend square college and romance squares. What more can I say?

Don't Be A Square!


15. Cardboard Box Dating Sim

Despite his monstrous personality, Carl the cardboard box has decided to try speed dating. However, he needs your help picking the right one for him.

Oh! You Monster!

Cover Image Credit: itch.io

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Just Like Any Other Toxic Relationship, It's Time To Breakup With Your Phone

Our phones are our individual prisons and you need to free yourself.

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Cell phones. Ever wonder why they're called "cellular devices?" Well, the suffix "ular" means "relating to," or "resembling." And "cell," well, the first thing you think is a prison cell! So, cellular devices resemble a prison. We trap ourselves in them. We go behind the gate, close and lock the door, and throw away the key. We place our full identity in what we put on social media. We waste precious time scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. We send memes instead of talking to someone face-to-face. We Snapchat the people right beside us, instead of just talking to them.

You know when you're in a toxic relationship, everyone tells you to break up with that person. They're bad for you. They only hurt you. You're better than that. Our relationship with our phone is like that too. So, break up with your phone! You don't need that negativity, that comparison, or that judgment.

I'm a teenager. I'm supposed to be the one attached to my phone, right? Well, I'm the "odd" one who actually wants to see your eyes and not have our phones around when we talk. I hate how it's so accepted, and encouraged, to neglect the necessity of human, face-to-face conversations with words coming out of our mouths. Our thumbs move faster, and more frequently, than our mouths do anymore.

I wish there was a national day where all electronics were forbidden, making you go an entire 24 hours without them.

Eventually, after you go through withdrawal, you would come to love the world you so often ignore. I promise. This January, I took the whole month away from social media. Even taking away that part of phone use was eye-opening. The sky is pretty, the birds sing, people actually dress up. There's also this thing called the outdoors — it's really cool! I don't know, I'm just glad that I haven't caught the millennial-bug. It's contagious, so beware.

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