If you have a severe allergy, mono, autoimmune disorder & disease, bad genetics, or other hard-to-treat chronic conditions, you'll feel these on a spiritual level.
1. Going out with friends...
...On Friday, you'll be the top of your game: on everyone's vibe, making references and dancing and singing along to the radio. Yet on Saturday, you'll be despondent, moody, slow to get jokes, and make everyone around you think you're mad at them. It's really hard to juggle the disappointment of missing out and the disappointment of ruining everyone's fun by being the new potato creature of the group. And you don't have a good reason for anyone....
"Maybe I'm getting sick again..."
"Something's acting up."
"I'm so tired."
2. Ordering food...
...You don't feel well but you don't know what will make you feel better, so you just feel like a hassle for everyone else, including the cashier or barista taking your order.
3. Caffeine:
It's that one friend that you hang out with all the time but usually overdoes it and gets you in trouble later. But it feels good just to live.
4. Alcohol:
It will either mask the groggy, spacey, sick feeling and make it worse later, or it'll just make it worse now. But if everyone else is socially drinking and you're not feeling well, watching everyone being healthy can be worse. So you either call in the night early, or befriend your phone.
5. Medication:
There are so many prescriptions, supplements, and multivitamins in your cabinet, you could run a pharmacy on the black market.
"Yes, I took Vitamin C last night and this morning, and drank orange juice during every meal."
6. Your phone is your best friend.
You probably spend an above-average amount of time in the restroom, so your phone occupies you with music, articles, friends, and sharing your thoughts on the internet while you're secretly a potato.
7. You identify with potatoes.
You like to eat things made of potatoes, you have become a couch potato, and when it's a particularly bad day, the bags under your eyes resemble potatoes. And sometimes...you're a hot potato.
8. Beyoncé is the only cure.
With science and statistics, you've found that Beyoncé is the only solution to a majority of your problems.
9. Sweatpants, boxers, yoga pants...
...just no real pants please.
10. You always look tired.
"That's just the way my face looks,"
"Yea I have resting bitch face,"
"No, honestly, idk if I'm okay, sorry, don't freak out. I'm not dying...yet."
11. Killing the vibe...
You don't mean to, you're body is just mean, like, all the time.
12. 80/20...
...You're always like 80 percent healthy...max.
13. Dancing or angry rap...
...Not feeling well frequently breeds ANGST, which, if you have enough energy, is cured by dancing or angry rapping.
14. Healthy food. Exercise. Sleep.
"Yeah I've heard that, thanks!"
"Okay, I'll try that"
"Yup that's a good idea!"
"Sure thing, pal!"
15. Survival:
Surprised you've made it this far, so it justifies a Treat Yo Self whenever you want.
