Self-love is crucial to living a fulfilling life, but sometimes it takes a lifetime to get to there. Our lives are so full of love already – friends, family, work, school, places – but we often forget to spread some of this love towards ourselves. When you love yourself, you better accept others' love for you. You rely less on others' opinions of you and your life. You allow yourself to take more selfish risks, because you believe you can achieve whatever you put your mind to. The world truly becomes your oyster. The path is not easy, but these steps can help you embrace your own greatness.
1. Unfollow accounts on social media that make you feel insecure.
We all have those people we follow on Twitter and Instagram that, it seems, just live better lives than us. With perfect bodies, the most adventurous lives, the most likes... these accounts, that bring out the jealous little voice in your head? Just unfollow them. Why subject yourself to the opportunity to feel bad about yourself and your life?
2. Reflect on what you love most about your closest friends and family. Find these things in yourself, as well.
The things your cherish most about the people you love– their kindness, sense of humor, adventurous attitude, thoughtfulness– these are the same types of things that others love about you. Try to see yourself through their eyes. Know that you are loved not for how you look, or what you wear, or what you do, but for who you are. And embrace that.
3. Compliment other people.
This is a win-win situation. When you compliment someone else, their happiness reflects back on to you. Creating opportunities for positive interactions with people should be a priority. Be the nicest, most sincere person they see all day. Smiles are contagious.
4. Compliment yourself.
Daily mantras and aspirations are underrated. Think about your greatest insecurities. These can be physical or mental. Create an uplifting mantra for yourself about these insecurities, and write it down. Write it on your mirror so you see it every day. Write it in your planner. Write yourself love notes. Find a quote you love, and reflect on it for a week. Positivity is key.
5. For one day, pretend you are Kanye West.
That man loves himself. He thinks he is the greatest person to ever walk this earth, and that anyone who interacts with him is honored with great privilege. Just pretend, for one day, that you are this confident. That you love yourself as much as he does. Some Kanye wisdom:
6. Be mindful of jealousy.
Mark Twain once said, "Comparison is the death of joy." We all have those days. Everyone is better looking than us, richer than us, happier than us– this mindset is a black hole that, sometimes, sucks us in for longer than a day. When our lives are busied by constant comparison, self-love is hard to make time for. Belittling yourself in the name of others is a habit hard to break. When you find yourself in moments of jealousy, consciously take that time instead to find something about yourself that you love. Choose love.
7. Count your blessings.
Grateful people are happy people. The more you find to be grateful for, the more you have to love in your life. When you step back and realize how blessed you are, and how great your opportunities have been, you diminish opportunities for feeling sorry for yourself. We are all on our own journeys. Take time to reflect on how lucky you are.
8. Be present.
Live in the moment, every moment. Embrace yourself, your feelings, your insecurities, all of it. You are incredible. You are unique. Love yourself in every moment, and be thankful for each moment you have.
9. Stop judging others. Choose to love them.
What we judge others on, oftentimes is just a reflection of our own insecurities. Ask yourself why you made those judgements. Instead of judging, remind yourself that everyone has a story. Choosing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and choosing to love them, is life-changing. Try it.
10. TLC Days are a must.
When you feel yourself growing thin, or too tired, or sad, take a day for yourself. Go to the beach, take a bath, spend the whole day in bed reading or watching TV. Spend one day ignoring your other responsibilities, and take care of yourself. Relax.
11. Spend more time with the people who uplift you.
We all have toxic relationships. People who spread negativity and guilt. Try to step back from these relationships. Spend time with those you make you laugh, who give you hugs that feel like home, who listen to you. It is okay to be selfish in this way. Love yourself enough to know you deserve good friends.
12. Be more intentional.
Intentionally love yourself. It does not "just happen." Self-love is an uphill battle. It will not always be easy. But it is worth it.
