DAMN. WOW. I GOT HURT BY A BOY AND THAT SUCKS, BUT HERE IS THE THING: I’ll be fine. I always am peachy, eventually. Is my self-esteem in the toilet right now? SURE IS! Do I want to vomit anytime that a guy or girl shows me any attention/affection? SURE DO! Is that normal? I’M NOT SURE, BUT I AM GOING TO STOP ASKING QUESTIONS NOW BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS LAST ONE.
Without further ado, Reesa’s 12 Steps to GETTING OVER THAT DAMN STUPID BOY OR GIRL.
1. Just cry about it already.
If you haven’t let the water works make their appearance yet, just do it. You know? It’s going to happen eventually, you might as well get it over with.
2. Look at yourself in the mirror right after you cry.
Chances are you feel gross. Chances are even higher that you look even grosser than you feel. Make sure that this is the lowest you let yourself go. In this moment, you look nasty, tearstained and puffy. When you’re feeling really shitty about your appearance, remember the red blob staring back at you in the mirror. You could always look worse.
3. Go on a long drive.
Listen to the saddest shit you’ve got on your phone. In fact, make a playlist of all of the saddest, shittiest songs you have. Cry again. Then play your favorite song on repeat. Let yourself breathe for a minute and truly feel your pain. It’s okay to acknowledge that you got hurt, just don’t live in your heartache. Go home now and make yourself something to eat.
4. Take a damn shower.
Being sad and hurt is not an excuse to give up your personal hygiene. I don’t give two shits if you care what other people think at this point in your life or if you’re trying to impress anyone, you owe it to yourself to take care of that body at least to the extent of being cleanly. Plus, you can cry discretely in the shower. I’m lookin’ at you emotionally awkward people.
5. Drink water.
Water is key to living. Whether you’re a sad eater or a sad starver, the bottom line is-you always need water. Take care of yourself. Side note: water is not the only drink that is recommended by Reesa for heartache. Alcohol is not a forever answer, but go buy yourself at least one bottle of wine or your drink of choice. If you decide to take this route, you might want to refer to number 8 before you do so to save yourself some dignity.
6. Call your friends.
You don’t have to cry to them if you don’t want to, just have them around for some part of the day. You don’t have to handle this whole thing by yourself. Being emotional in private is fine if that’s what you’re about (ayo), but a little human contact every once in a while is a good thing. Plus, who knows how to make you laugh better than your best bitches?
7. Keep your schedule.
A couple of days of sleeping in is okay, and most of all, understandable, but don’t make it a habit. Let your professors and bosses know that you’re in a bit of a personal whirlwind and you need a personal day or two. The biggest thing is communication. After you’ve had some time to recoup, get back into it. Life doesn’t stop just because it feels like your heart may have.
8. Block them on social media, etc. if needed.
There is no shame in this if you feel that it is necessary. It has always been my policy to know that they won’t contact me so that I don’t have to worry about it or secretly wish for it either. It’s just cleaner.
9. Bottle up your emotions when in public.
Sorry to be harsh, but there is not one person that is comfortable with you crying in Walmart because your feelings are hurt. If you want people to witness your pain, refer to number 5. Be an adult and put it away until the timing is appropriate for some tears.
10. Go shopping or something.
Buy a new dress or new shoes or really anything that makes you feel saucy. This may sound super surface level, but when your self-esteem takes a hit, it’s SUPER important to make sure that it makes a comeback. A little boost may be all you need to bounce back, or maybe you need more than little bit of polish, but a great way to start is in a store where the associates are obligated to tell you that you look fabulous in something so they can make their daily sales goal.
11. Find an everyday outlet.
Shopping is fun, and so is wallowing in self-pity on the couch, but neither are realistic long-term outlets for your emotions. Start running, start a journal, start kick boxing, etc. Start something new or continue using an older, preferred method of lettin’ it all go. Aim to better yourself and grow from whatever you choose.
12. Just keep going.
At some point, I’m sure you were expecting this list to come to an end, complete with a pretty package and bow, but that’s not how life works. You got hurt. The world didn’t stop. Your heart is still pumping. You went through something difficult, which means that your views on life are a little more skewed than they were before. But life keeps moving, which means that you’ll never get “back.” You’ll heal, but things have changed. You get the chance at a new normal, and the sooner that you come to terms with that, the sooner you’ll be “over it.”
