Recently I have seen a lot of media coverage on celebrities and public figures having to fight trolls on social media. The comment section of Instagram posts and YouTube videos seem out of control, right? It's easy to dismiss the issue and say, "people are cruel, especially when they hide behind a screen and face no 'real' consequences." I'm tired of hearing explanations that are disguised as excuses.
I am especially sick of the labels women have to fight every day. Sticks and stones may break bones but words will leave you emotionally scarred and destroy your mental health. Here is a list of words I think we should stop using to label or insult women; it's time to raise each other up, not tear each other down.
1. Real Woman
A woman is a woman if she identifies as a woman. Simple as that. When people say "that's a real woman!" All I can think is: as opposed to a fake woman? The connotation is not to compare and contrast phony from genuine, it's to imply that some bodies are more desirable than others. I don't care what your type is and I don't blame you for having a type, just don't assume that the type of woman you're attracted to is superior to women with other features.
2. Skinny/Scrawny
If a man or woman is thin, well...why does it matter to anyone else? People are very aware of their own body types and these words may trigger insecurities. Now some people may read what I just wrote and think: "why do I have to censor myself?" Obviously, you are not obligated to, but having the ability to look outside of yourself and consider how your words affect others- that says a lot about your character. Make good and considerate choices to balance your karma.
3. Thick
Thick is used to describe a consistency, usually of food. "That is a thick slice of cake" or "the brownie batter is thick," are both examples of how the dictionary definition should be applied. If you're uncomfy with people using "moist" to describe anything other than cake, consider how "thick" falls into the same category.
4. Curvy
I will admit, curvy is a more debatable word. I just want to point out my frustration with it. Curvy should be used to describe anyone with curves. More often it is used to compare women's sizes. You're probably thinking "duh!" But my problem is that it implies that a woman with curves cannot simultaneously be thin, which is an erroneous and fallacious assumption.
5. Fat
Unacceptable. Someone else's weight is not meant to be a casual topic of discussion nor a weapon to heinously humiliate them. Using the word fat can perpetuate unnecessary self-deprecation from people who have had their self-esteem torn down. Just think before you speak.
6. Slutty
I think this is the most disgusting word. If you're asking "why?" I'm not sure you will ever understand if you don't already. Slut is used to shame women and make them fear to feel sexually free. Women who have healthy sex lives should be just as proud as men who are called "players." Which by the way, "player" is just another word that creates an unacceptable double standard.
7. Hormonal
WHY?! I hope my shouty caps made you woke. Calling a woman hormonal has been the default defense mechanism for too many sexist people. It's also a fallacious argument tactic because 1) you can't know women's hormonal levels, 2) you shouldn't make assumptions about things you don't know, 3) you're ignorant if you think that you can use "hormonal" to dismiss or divert a woman's argument just because it's different from your own.
8. Exotic
You may think "oh but being called exotic is actually a compliment." Please think again. This word only perpetuates the fetishizing of people who come from different ethnicities and cultures. To further my point, men often use exotic in conjunction with this phrase: "I have never been with someone [insert ethnicity] before." The appropriate response to said men- I'm not surprised and I don't expect you to hook up with anyone of assumed ethnic group anytime soon, especially if you use that pickup line.
9. Bitchy
The only variation of bitch that is acceptable is when "badass" is in front of it. Calling a woman bitchy is just a poor way of communicating whatever frustration you have. Poor in the sense that your vocabulary should be more rich and tasteful. Just attempt to stop perpetuating sexism in language when you can so that you can be a BADA** BIT**.
10. Easy
Okay, things normal people describe as easy: games, tasks, and activities. Women's bodies are none of the above. If you describe women as easy, you're saying that women are conquests, which is extremely offensive. Moreover, you're violating and disrespecting women in general. You do not deserve to be with a woman until you understand that if a woman agrees to have sex with someone, she should never be made to feel bad about her choice, especially if both parties are consenting adults.
11. Tease
The worst thing about people who use the word "tease" is that they always assume women want to have sex with them. It is entirely possible that (once upon a time) someone imagined a woman was interested and when advances were made and turned down, the woman received an unnecessary and undeserved backlash. Stop calling women "teases," because at the end of the day, if she is not interested then she is not interested.
12. Asking for it
Women have voices and "asking for it" is a phrase used to silence consent. If a woman wants something, she will tell you. If you think she is asking for something that she has not asked for- WELL ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS. It doesn't hurt to clarify what you think you (really have not verbally) heard. Only use this phrase after a woman has used her voice to ask for something. Otherwise your pants are on fire and you're a liar.
