1. The pursuit is not always as pure and natural as it seems.
You might see an overachiever and think they have it all. They're skilled, hardworking and driven. That's a huge part of it. A huge part. Nonetheless, I am by no means flawless. Being a "good student" or "good worker" often means faking it until I make it. I would never hurt anyone in my quest, but I do have to stand up for myself and take no nonsense.
2. I don't have enough time for my friends and hobbies we share.
I give up a lot of fun things during the week in order to keep up with school, work, extra-curricular activities, applications, and personal projects. Overachievers prioritize, but they don't always do it in a healthy way. I don't "hang out" with people unless we are incredibly close and have a purpose for our meeting. I am working or I am out of sorts. I can't turn the achieving part off.
3. It is not easy.
If it looks easy from your perspective, that's what I want you to think. It is very hard. It can be very painful. Even when overachievers have easy work, the constant fear of failure and not living up to potential is like being strapped to a ticking time bomb 24/7.
4. Good sleep is a luxury.
My average on hours of sleep is poor. The boost it gets is from sleeping 10-12 hours on the weekends when class is absent and work is slower. The sleep is not very good. I'm thinking about what I need to do next. It is hard to fall asleep and very hard to get out of bed due to mental exhaustion.
5. I sometimes let my health suffer in order to achieve great things.
I don't exercise much and I don't eat as well as I should. I push through things even when I'm feeling awful. I haven't let a splitting headache stop me from doing an assignment. I'll gladly skip a much needed shower in order to wrap up a project. I sometimes mistake self care as doing fun work instead of strenuous work.
6. I haven't read for pure pleasure in years.
This is a sad one because I love to read and wish I had more time for it. Every book I read is for class, work, or my future career. Some of those things bring me a lot of joy. Unfortunately, getting a chance to read a fantasy novel with no application to the real world is nearly impossible.
7. When I run out of one goal, I have to go to the next one.
"Now what?" is what I feel whenever I finish a project. I always have a goal. When I complete it, I should already be working on my next goal. Overachievers tend to be confused when there's nothing left to do.
8. Settling for something considered "less" in the interest of my own happiness is a challenge.
Over achievement is not just for the self. It's also for the world watching, and for the benefits the world might give you in exchange for your work. The world thinks being a lawyer or doctor or something with a three figure salary is best. When you decide to overachieve in an artistic field, justifying yourself becomes harder. The praise becomes: "Why wouldn't you do X instead?" You have to fight yourself into the realization you're still working hard and doing great things.
9. It is dysfunctional and agonizing way more often than it brings pride and joy.
The ultimate benefits to over achievement are obvious. Hopefully you're recognized. You go far and you feel proud when people notice you and afford you opportunities. You look at your life and brim with confidence. That's the good stuff, but it's not constant. You always notice how dysfunctional overachieving makes your life. Always.
10. No one is making me do this but me.
The next time you meet an overachiever, don't assume their parents threaten them at every turn. If anything, over achievement is the result of a child deeply loved and cared for. An overachiever wants to do everything to succeed. It's hard work. No one would do it well if they didn't truly want to. If someone is being forced, they should always remind themselves of their end goal. Is it worth it?
11. I am a pain.
I consider myself a fair and socially minded person. Then my achievements come up. I tend to put my goals before everything. It comes off as mean. It sucks when I abandon plans and priorities for them. It sucks, but I do it. Overachievers are aware of the fact they sometimes make your life difficult. Have patience.
12. I don't know how I do it, either.
When I count the hours in a week, it becomes apparent: some of what I did should have been impossible. When you ask an overachiever how they do it all, they may come up with an answer. Take it with a grain of salt. The truth is, it sometimes happens. It can't always be explained.
Over achievement is a wonder and a flaw. Crush your assumptions and be good to your friends.
