When I was a kid, I took Halloween very seriously. I always chose a costume with long sleeves so my mom wouldn't make me wear a coat over it because, seriously, Columbia jackets just didn't go with my whole princess vibe. I always made sure my candy bag coordinated with my outfit; one year I used a dog dish when I was Lady from "Lady and the Tramp." I mapped out my routes before my friends and I headed out to score our treats. And I always remembered those houses that gave out the best--and worst--candy. Here are the top 11 culprits, in no particular order.
1. Whoppers
This is what I like to call "dad candy": Give it to him so he doesn't go taking the good stuff.
2. Almond Joys
I always tried to pass these off to my friends during the post-trick-or-treating candy swap. It didn't fly.
3. Heath Bars
Who wants to eat a candy called Heath?
4. Milk Duds
Me: "Oh, I think I like these!"
Me: *eats them*
Me: "Nevermind."
5. Raisins
NOT A CANDY, MAN. NOT A CANDY.
6. Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate
If you haven't seen the video of kids trying dark chocolate for the first time, now would be the time. Just to remind you that sugarless candy doesn't have a place in Halloween.
7. Smarties
More chalk.
8. Dum-Dums
Yawn.
9. Tootsie Rolls
The "cop-out" candy. I see you, Halloween-hater.
10. Mr. Goodbar
Kids don't like nuts in their chocolate, OK?
11. Black Licorice
Where dreams go to die.
This Halloween, may the candy odds be ever in your favor.
































