Your life is absolutely perfect in college. You've aced all your exams, became the president of two clubs, made tons of friends, and get nine hours of sleep every night. Of course, Kevin from high school is definitely not having as good of a time as you are. Here are 11 ways to show how good of a time you're having (and how much of a better time you're having than Kevin).
1. Post shirtless mirror selfies flexing your abs and biceps every time you go to the gym.
Whether you work out once a month or once a day, make sure you show off your 6-pack, pecs, and share your incredible new bench max. Also, make sure everyone sees your sexy new phone case.
2. Accept every friend request on Facebook to rack up your friends count.
Have you never seen this person before in your life? Never even heard his/her name? That doesn't matter. One more step to 2,000 friends!
3. Share highlights of very well-performing sports teams you've liked your entire life.
Yeah, you've always loved Cam Newton and the Panthers. I know you've been a huge Golden State fan even before Stephen Curry came, right?
4. Post a picture of yourself at a key and widely popular landmark every time you're on vacation.
People need to see your love for travelling and cosmopolitanism.
5. Change your cover photo to a picture of a cool, exclusive group of people (that you just so happen to be a part of).
Show your popularity through a photo of you and your pledge class at your fraternity/sorority. Everyone will be in awe when they learn you got a bid.
6. Take and post selfies on Instagram with every person you meet at a frat party the first week of college.
You might not say hi to them the next morning, but they'll all be your best friends for the next four years.
7. Take and post pictures on Instagram with you and your friends holding red Solo cups at parties.
Because no one really knows what's in the cups.
8. Share political articles or videos that make points you strongly agree/disagree with.
Since everyone needs to know that you are an informed and educated citizen with a strong stance on important issues.
9. If an athlete, make sure to post dozens of pictures of you in action.
Everyone will be so impressed when they see you in an NCAA college uniform destroying your competition.
10. If a writer, make sure to share your latest article and include a caption promoting it like it's the best thing since sliced bread.
No one needs to know that you spewed 500 fancy-sounding words and cliches onto a page and submitted it a minute before the deadline.
11. Feel bad about yourself when you see everyone else having the time of their lives.
Ultimately, social media is another outlet for us to fashion ourselves an ideal public persona that is far from our true selves. Not many people are truly having as much success or as good of a time as they portray on social media. This pattern of ours is a testament to how image-conscious of a society we are and have become -- that we're insecure to acknowledge our failures and vulnerabilities despite the fact that every human being has them.
Our public identities on social media neglect the fact that life happens. Hardship happens. When we post something acting like we're having the time of our lives (and vice versa), we're perpetuating this denial and enabling and even promoting detrimental behaviors for ourselves and others to fulfill this false reality.
