11 Things Someone Who Suffers From Social Anxiety Deals With Everyday | The Odyssey Online
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11 Things Someone Who Suffers From Social Anxiety Deals With Everyday

It's a battle of trying to rid myself of the thoughts while trying to become the best I can be.

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11 Things Someone Who Suffers From Social Anxiety Deals With Everyday
anxietymedications.net

If you're like me, someone who has generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety, you know the day to day life is never "easy." Looking at me, you probably would never be able to tell how anxious I am a lot of the time. Most of what I endure everyday are internal battles taking place inside my head. Whether it's constantly overthinking every little thing - things that people wouldn't typically even think twice about - or worrying too much about what I say or do in fear that I'll "screw up," my life is constantly affected by these anxious thoughts and feelings. In an attempt to show you what goes on inside the head of someone with social anxiety, here's eleven things that I - as well as many others - experience nearly everyday.

1. We overthink conversations and interactions with people and replay them in our heads countless times.

Those who suffer from social anxiety worry every time they:

- Say something "stupid" in a conversation,

- Get a weird look from a friend or acquaintance,

- Recieve criticism in any way,

- Have someone become angry or annoyed with them,

- Try but fail to feel included in a group of people, or...

- Seem to be ignored by someone they consider themselves to be friends with.

This list can be endless, and everything on it deeply hurts and hits us so much harder than it would the average person. In some of these encounters, the person or people we interact with might not even be consciously trying to do any of this or intentionally hurt us in any way, but it still really gets to us. Also, in encounters where we feel like we said or did something "wrong," we can't help but to overthink it to death and let it get in our heads so much. Yet, in reality, we're probably the only one even giving those actions or words a second thought.


2. Sometimes, just the simple action of sending a text message or a snapchat to some people is a hard task they have to work up the courage to do.

Often, we feel as if we're a bother or a burden to people. This makes us afraid of reaching out to some of our closest friends. Or we appear distant, when in reality we're just afraid of being rejected.


3. They have much smaller, what I like to call, "Social Comfort Zones."

Whether it's leaving our house, room, or the safety of a group of people we know well, entering a social situation where we feel like we'll be the odd one out or we won't know everybody, is extremely nerve-wracking. It's sometimes a 50/50 shot as to whether we will actually be able to work up the courage to say "screw it," and just go out of out social comfort zones. We may really, really want to go out and attend whatever event it is but we are anxious about, our anxiety of being excluded or alone can often outweigh that. If things go negatively when we escape these comfort zones, it makes it even more difficult to do it again.


4. They are afraid of coming off as too clingy, but yet they don't all necessarily know what to do when they grow distant with some of their friends.

Although this typically happens with friends we haven't known as long, it can even happen with people we feel the closest to. It can often be hard for us to find the balance of not being too clingy while not being too distant because, while we want to remain close with the friends we have, we're afraid of being a bother. However, when we see ourselves growing distant with these friends, we don't always know what to do. We tend to blame ourselves for when we drift from people we care about and can't stop wondering and overthinking what we did wrong, even if we did nothing wrong at all.

5. They are extremely fearful of opening up about their problems or things they really need to vent about.

I know with me personally, one of my biggest fears is talking to people about my problems in fear that they will, in some way, reject me because of them. I tend to keep most of my problems cooped up inside of me thus putting myself into a really negative place, when maybe all I need is to talk it out to feel okay. When this happens to a lot of us who have this anxiety, we want to talk things out so badly because we know it will make us feel better. Yet we physically can't be the one to initiate opening up because of fear. It takes someone asking us if we are okay or need to talk (or sometimes even more) for us to be able to.

6. Sometimes, they feel the need to live up to some sort of expectations or standards to fit in.

There are times where we don't feel as if we completely fit in. We don't feel as included or good enough for someone or a group of people, even if they're our friends. We feel as if we need to talk about certain things or act a certain way to fit in and for people to like us. This leads us to overthink everything we say or do around people. All of this can be completely in our heads too because, while the group of people or person we are with may feel we are fine, we can't shake the raging thoughts and feelings that cause us to believe we aren't.

7. They have constant, sudden, and uncontrollable thoughts.

Which came first. the chicken or the egg?

Throughout our daily lives, we all have certain people, situations, or triggers that cause automatic anxiety, provoking thoughts to jump into our heads. Sometimes something happens to trigger these thoughts, and other times these thoughts come randomly, without warning, and trigger the feelings of anxiety. These thoughts are different for everyone, as not everyone feels anxious about the same exact things.

I know for me, sitting in a class that I have no friends in is anxiety provoking for me. This causes me to overthink my appearance, my actions, where I sit, etc. I feel like people are judging me, when in reality, they probably aren't even giving me a second thought. Or sometimes I'm doing something as simple as walking across campus or sitting at Starbucks to do work, and I'll have completely random thoughts jump into my head that provoke my anxiety such as:

-"You're sitting alone, people are probably judging you on that." Or...

-"(This person) never answered your text, you're annoying them." Or...

-"You're not good enough, no one's there for you."

If I made a list of all the thoughts that go through my head, this article would be as long as a novel. It's endless.

8. They fidget. A LOT.

Looking at me, you would probably never even guess at what times my anxiety is really affecting me. But the one thing I DO almost all the time is constantly have the need to be moving. Whether it be biting the inside of my mouth, shaking my foot, adjusting my position, or tapping my fingers, I'm usually almost always doing something.

9. They notice the little things.

When a friend and I stop talking as much, when I feel little signs of someone not caring as much, when a friend stops acting the same around me, when someone starts talking to me any differently...I notice, and it hurts me probably a lot more than it should. I don't just blame myself for the changes I see. I immediately start overthinking and wondering where I went wrong.

10. They blame themselves whenever things go south in a friendship.

Whether it be drifting apart from someone we care about, awkward silences, not hitting it off with someone, or a friend simply getting annoyed at us, we can't help but blame ourselves and overthink the entire thing. This makes us believe its all our fault.

11. They are extremely sensitive to being yelled at.

It hurts a lot more than it should, even if it's over the littlest things. Being yelled at is something we're usually really sensitive to.


Having these types of anxiety is never easy and, to tell the truth, I'll probably never be completely free of it. Everyday is a battle of trying to rid myself of the thoughts while trying to work with myself to become the best and strongest me that I can be. While I have come so far, I know there is still always going to be some room for improvement. In order to keep doing that, I just have to take one day at a time.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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