1. When eating is the most exciting activity of the day.

The best part of your day has suddenly become dinnertime, where you can get not only unlimited pizza and fries, but also that burger, hot dog, taco, three pieces of cake, and that questionable chili. Yum!

2. When you don't recognize yourself in the mirror.

Who is this person?! Maybe if I just avoid looking in mirrors this won't become a bigger issue.

3. You go home for breaks and your parents make comments about your weight.

“Wow, honey, you look… different." F-off, Mom.

4. You feel your only chance for change is divine intervention.

Dear Lord, if there was ever a time to decide to actually listen to me it would be now. Make me hot.

5. You are in denial and start making excuses about your eating habits.

If you eat two pieces of pizza stacked on-top of one another the body doesn't know, it will think you are only eating one. Thank you, Fran, for this life changing tip.

6. Sitting in the impossibly small desks in lecture halls becomes even more difficult.

Seriously, when you can't fit even one normal sized person in one of those creepy small chairs, how I am supposed to fit myself post eating my entire body weight in dining hall food?

7. When your friends from high school start mentioning your weight gain and you lash out.

“Wow, you look…different." F-off, Becky.

8. You have no concept of exercise.

I heard they have a gym on campus, I just have absolutely no idea where it would be located or what you would even do there.

9. You give up on trying to be hot and decide pizza sounds like more fun anyway.

I give up. Life is for living, not dieting.

On a serious note, we are all beautiful in our own ways. What is important is to love yourself for you. Enjoy the unlimited food while you can, and if you don't like something about yourself, change it. It is as simple as that.