As females, we spend the majority of our time overthinking the most trivial of situations.
Whether it be screenshotting texts to our best friends or trying to decipher the time difference between the last text and the snap story he posted, we’re always wondering whether things mean more. Based on my past experiences, overthinking is messy, but it can both help and hurt, depending on the situation. It’s ironic that men always talk about how confusing and complicated women are, yet they send us one word texts and then wonder why we’re confused or upset. Something I’ve noticed over time is that regardless of the situation, sometimes your gut knows the truth and sometimes you’re just being a crazy female. The latter is where we get ourselves in trouble.
Sometimes, men don’t even realize that we overthink in the manner that we do, but for those that don’t understand why, there is an explanation:
1. There’s a reason we are this way.
We didn’t just wake up one day and decide to attempt to find the deeper meaning of your text and wonder if you’re still into us based on your reply time. It’s second nature, but we haven’t always been this way. For me, there were a couple experiences where I was too naive, and from that, I promised I would no longer be that way. But the downfall is that the opposite end of the spectrum isn’t any better. Finding the balance between the two is key, and that can be done with your partners help. Take into consideration that we’re thinking about everything you do, and that can be in the form of just having an open conversation.
2. Overthinking doesn't make us crazy.
Everyone thinks too far into thinks at some point in their life. For those of us that make it an everyday occurrence, we’re not crazy. We don’t ever want to feel the sting of rejection and we faultlessly get our hopes up and still believe that people are genuine, yet it takes us a little while to take what people say for what it actually says, versus what we think it means. I can assure you; we’re not crazy, we’re just trying to protect ourselves.
3. Overthinking is usually related to anxiety.
I never developed anxiety until after a messy breakup and although I’m guilty of being a serial overthinker, anxiousness just made it all worse. Instead of just overthinking, we get nervous about the act of thinking too much. We wonder if you think we’re crazy and/or reading too much into it, and we also wonder if you even notice that we’re going insane trying to figure out what you mean.
4. We just want to make sure you actually care.
Of course we’re wondering why it took you so long to respond to our text. We want to know you’re thinking of us like we think of you. We want you to text us first and we want you to let us know you care. In turn, we seek meaning in things that are actually meaningless. Spoiler alert, it’s okay to show us you’re interested so we don’t have to endure this process of mental self-harm.
5. We're protecting ourselves.
We want to know upfront if you’re interested. Why would we waste time and energy on someone that doesn’t give us what we deserve? This is the actual reason we all overthink. We want to make sure throwing our heart out there for the taking is going to be worth the risk and we believe we can decipher whether it is by how fast you respond to texts and snaps. We may be dead wrong, but at least we’re still trying.
6. We're too genuine.
We want to believe the good in everyone, and that gets us into trouble quite often. Not all guys are bad, and not all play games. However, being a college-aged human being in this world makes dating suck. Everyone thinks its ‘cool’ not to care. Even with that in the back of our minds, we still want to believe you’re different. We want to believe that you actually care 'what I’m doing' at 2am on a Saturday night.
7. We love like we're never been hurt.
I don’t know a girl that hasn’t had her heart broken once or twice. It comes with the territory of dating and relationships. However, no matter how many times we get hurt, most of us can still bounce back. Yet we carry a little something more from every heartbreak to each new relationship. Despite the fact that we’re trying to understand every little move you make, it’s all because we want to find the one.
8. We're afraid to catch the feels, but still do it anyway.
When did it become the most undesired thing on the planet to have feelings? For us overthinkers, we know how terrible it is to love or even just like someone that doesn’t feel the same way. This makes us hesitant. This makes us think too much.
9. We still believe in the one.
Despite all of the baggage that comes to dating these days, we still think that you’re going to be the ‘fairy-tale’ guy that sweeps us off our feet. If you don’t have those intentions, tell us. This will eliminate hours of wondering and stop the literal ton of made up scenarios in our head. We could use the heads up for once.
10. We always think this one will be different.
Being hopeful that this time, you actually mean what you say is great. Not giving up and still having feelings after the world of hurt that we’ve been through is a feat. Instead of calling us crazy, you should really be impressed with the fact that we haven’t given up hope based on the amount of times we’ve been screwed over.
Although none of us are exactly the same, and despite the fact that I’ve been that crazy girl plenty of times, overthinking is a direct result of the way people handle relationships and conversation in the world that we live in. Everything is temporary and that gives us all anxiety. To simply state things, we just want to know. You like us? Tell us. Save us the time and effort of devising a plan and crafting a carefully worded text that will ask you for all the answers in a round about way. Be the one, and make her glad she still believed in love, even if she thinks a little too much.
