Hi, my name is Becca and I don't particularly like long walks on the beach because of crowds, sand in my shoes and large bodies of water tend to give me bad anxiety. Living with an anxiety disorder is very difficult, especially when you have to explain to people why you have anxiety in the first place. So many things give me anxiety, and some of them are so ridiculous that the only thing I can really do is laugh at them. I realize that mental illness is to be taken seriously, but every single person has their own way of coping.
Humor is my refuge, a way for me to handle everything going on in my head. If I didn't make fun of myself once and awhile, I would go completely out of my mind. This list of things that give me anxiety is not meant to offend people, it is a way for me to show that life with a mental illness is not all bleak and depressing. It is possible to find the funny in such a sensitive situation. So, without further ado, here are the things that just plain drive me nuts, and I hope it gives you some perspective and makes you laugh a little.
1. Driving
This one is a doozy. I'm a terrible driver, nervous people usually are. Add anxiety into the mix, and it is a recipe for disaster. I don't trust anything while driving -- me, the car, the road, other drivers, anything. If you ever see me on the road, you better pull over and hide. Hopefully someone soon invents teleportation, because I'll be the first one in line to turn in my license.
2. Small talk
I am the queen of awkward small talk. I'm the girl at the party who is talking about the status of the public school systems while everyone else is discussing how nice the weather is. I just don't get small talk. I don't even know you, or probably even like you, but I'm just going to smile and talk about our favorite vacation spots? To me, that makes no sense. Just coming up with ideas for small talk makes me so nervous I want to vomit. I mean, that's what small talk is right, word vomit?
3. Elevators
My uneasiness with elevators is so contradictory to my hatred of stairs. Like everything else in my life, I just can't win sometimes. Every time I walk through those sliding doors of death, my life flashes before my eyes and I truly believe it will be my last few minutes on earth.
4. Being late
This one is an irrational fear. In my world, If I'm not 10 minutes early to something, then I'm late. I have nightmares about being late to things, which usually result in something horrible happening to me. On the bright side though, you can always count on me being punctual, right?
5. Making new friends
I am perfectly content with the small friend group I have, so why do I need to exert the energy to make more?
6. Parties
I'll stay home and nap, thank you. Too much uneasy social interaction for me.
7. Adulthood
I graduate college in six months, and every time I think about it, I almost pass out. I'm just going to sit here in sweet denial and not think about how I'll need to find a real job.
8. Sunburns
I know what your thinking, how could sunburns possibly give me anxiety? Well, when you're pale as hell and have little to no melanin in your entire body, you'll understand. I'm the girl who will put sunscreen on for a two-second walk to my car in the morning. Not today, ultraviolet radiation, not today.
9. Hospital
Not being able to see means I'm completely vulnerable, which is all kinds of not OK. Yeah, I turn on every light when I walk around a night, but guess who is never going to be surprised by a late night intruder lurking about in the darkness, this girl.
