I’ve been short for a while now. Practically my whole life. I’m 5’1” and a quarter, in a family where girls rarely make it past 5’2”. In fact, I’m actually considered one of the taller girls in my family. To paint the picture a little clearer here, my grandmother is 5’1”, my mother is five feet, and my older sister argues that she’s 4’10”, while the sister right under me is also 4’10”. So let’s just say I have a lot of experience in being short. And I hate it. Here are just a few reasons why I do:

10. Your Feet Don’t Touch the Ground

Sometimes this doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but it gets a bit annoying. Especially when you’re on a tall chair, and you have to hop off to get off, which just makes you look like a small child. Also swings. It’s not that hard to get on them, but once you get full swing, getting off requires patience, or good legs to catch you when you jump off. It doesn’t seem much like a problem once you’re college-aged but I like swings, okay? Also, regular chairs. I remember an incident where I was busy doing an assignment, minding my own business, when I heard snickering from my neighbor. I had no idea why he was laughing, and after a long time of asking, he told me it was because my feet were four inches from the ground.

9. Being in a Car

Adjusting. Adjusting everything. The seat needs to be higher, pushed closer. Visors changed, mirrors changed. Even when you’re not the one DRIVING the car. Cluttered car? You get middle seat, you get the floor, or you get someone else’s lap. It’s kind of awesome sometimes, but really annoying when you get the middle seat in the back, and never shotgun because you’re small enough to fit in the back.

8. Other Peoples’ Houses

Need a cup, plate, or a bowl? Good luck. Want to look in the mirror? How’s your forehead looking? Turn on the ceiling fan? How high do you have to jump before you can touch the end of the string?

7. Having Tall Friends and S/Os

Walking with friends means I have to run. Standing behind them means I disappear. And no one is as quick to call you short, or joke about being short more than your tall friends. They love to take your things and hold them up, and laughing as you try to jump to get it. Everyone thinks it’s so cute to see a tall boyfriend with their short girlfriend. I’ve seen those pictures, the short girl on their tiptoes, and the boyfriend leaning over to kiss each other. Or maybe the boyfriend picking up their girlfriend to kiss them. Well, I hate having to get on my tiptoes for anything. And I hate getting picked up nearly more than anything else. I will scream my head off. I’ve tried piggy back rides, and I hate them. And if I want to kiss my boyfriend, I usually have to grab something to pull him down just to reach his chin, which is to say sometimes I miss and kiss his chin. Others might find this ordeal to be cute, but I just find it annoying.

6. Being an Armrest

Don’t use me as something to lean against. Don’t put your arm on my shoulder, on top of my head, or whatever. I will push you off, or worse. Don’t do it.

5. Always At the Front

This is fine on some occasions. Except when you hate taking pictures because you’re an awkward fucktard. Which I am.

4. Trying To See Anything

I hate this. Shows, concerts, crowds, etc. Worst place, always. Jumping, tiptoes, trying to yank the others down, nothing seems to work sometimes. Concerts and shows, I’ll find my way through. Crowds around other mundane things? Most of the time, I just give up, and move on. I’ll hear about it later if it’s truly of interest.

3. Using Stools to Get Anything

Stools are my best friends and my worst enemies. I love that they’re there for me when I need them, but I hate when I need them. Need something from the top shelf? Stool. Need something at the back of the shelf? Stool. Need to hang something on the wall? Stool.

2. You Get Called “Cute” All the Time

“It’s a compliment”. No, I don’t want to be cute. I could care less about being cute. Cute is what you call small puppies, meowing kittens, laughing babies, fluffy stuffed animals, Tinkerbell, Totoro, tiny shoes, and others of the like. I am not a fairy. I am a machine. I am a warrior. I will take down whatever gets in my way, and make a sword made out of the blood of my enemies. I will set fire to the world. I am a lot of things but for the love of all that is great in this world, I am not CUTE. (I feel the need to point out that some of these things are an exaggeration – tiny shoes aren’t always cute).

1. You Don’t Get Taken Seriously

If anyone knows me even just a little bit, they know I hate when someone doesn’t take me seriously. I have a short-temper, I’m aggressive, and I guess you could say passionate – especially when I’m in an argument with someone. Yet, one look at my short stature, and people lose it. They would smile, laugh, or just shrug it off. It’s annoying. I mean, I’m a goof, and I love to joke all the time. If I’m being honest, I really don’t take myself very seriously the majority of the time. However, the few times I am serious, I expect people to treat me as such. Some people don’t. Which only sets off the short fuse that I have. Also, you’re usually the blunt of many jokes. Let me tell you, the short jokes are never-ending. That being said, this is one of my many pet peeves about being short.

Not everything sucks about being short. You can wear tall heels, slip through the crowd pretty easily, fit in small places, and you’re usually the last person to find in hide-and-seek. Being short definitely has its perks sometimes, and honestly, people always want what they can’t have. That being said, yes I would love to be taller – way taller – but even if I’m only 5’1” and a quarter, I will still take on anything or anyone that challenges me. Not saying that I’ll win, because honestly I don’t even work out, but I definitely won’t be going down without a fight. Don’t underestimate us shorties. We WILL take you on.