In grade school, I spent half my time in public school and half the time, well....home-schooled. People tended to ask some really strange, rude and oddly intrusive questions when I was growing up. Here are a few of the gems, but I must warn you: my sassy, passive-aggressive responses may cause fits of uncontrollable laughter…I mean, or not. I was homeschooled. Homeschoolers aren’t funny.
10. "You're homeschooled? What kind of animals do you have on your farm?”
What do I look like? Pippy Longstocking? Since when does being homeschooled mean I live on a farm? What do they teach you in public school?!
9. “It’s the middle of the day. Shouldn’t you be in school?”
Why no, I already finished my work, invented microwave popcorn and have a rocket launch at NASA scheduled this afternoon. That’s why I’m not in school. Oh, wait, sorry…I gotta go home and milk my cow.
8. “Do you actually like being homeschooled?”
No, it’s terrible. I’m done with my work before noon, I sleep until 8, and I don’t have to eat cafeteria food. How will I go on?! Faints.
7. “Homeschoolers aren’t very bright are they?”
Yes, thank you for insulting my intelligence. While you were learning to graph a parabola, I learned how to write a check, file my taxes and budget my money. No, you dim-wit, homeschoolers have to learn the same things you do. You do realize Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Will Smith, and Susan B. Anthony was homeschooled right. *Public schooled child asks a parent who Susan B. Anthony is*
6. “Don’t your parents want you to be part of a social group? What if you grow up to be awkward?”
Actually, during my public school time, I did socialize. Do you know what I got in trouble for? Socializing. Did I already tell you Will Smith was homeschooled. He turned out ok.
5. “Is your mom, like your teacher?”
You know, there’s this magical thing called a “book.” And you open it and read it and learn things from it. I’m what you call an independent learner; no one has to sit there and make me do it. So magical.
4. “You don’t look like a homeschooler! Don’t they usually wear those caps and old-looking dresses?”
Ok, first of all, just because I’m homeschooled doesn’t mean my dress code requires turtlenecks and skirts. Secondly, I think you’re confusing the Amish with…you know what? Nevermind.
3. “You’re homeschooled?! Aren’t you sad you’ll never go to prom?”
I did go to prom. Three times. My homeschool association had two proms with sit-down dinners, DJs, great music and chaperones. You know what the public school prom had? Stinky food, a crowded dance floor full of smelly hormonal teenagers and bad music. I left before 10:00 because I’m anti-social. *rolls eyes*
2. “Do you get to stay in your pajamas all day?”
You know, my mom actually made me get dressed like a normal, fully-functional child. I got to have a pajama day at home just like you “normal” kids had at school.
1. “Why would you be homeschooled? It doesn’t sound fun.”
You know, there were days I’m sure my mom wanted to pull her hair out. It would have been easier to send me to public school. But while other kids spent eight hours a day in school, I cut the time in half. I got to learn the things that weren’t so interesting to me in a way that was fun and engaging. I got to focus on music and hands-on experiences. I got to take art and dance classes. I had a love for reading and writing that I was able to fully explore. I’m so thankful I was homeschooled. But gosh, darn it, if I could only figure out what 2+2 is…….
